Friday, March 9, 2012

"Hey, y'all, I like grits! And things of that nature."

I wonder if the only thing more ironical than a northeast liberal conservative pandering to the south by picking the most cliched themes of dixie is the use of a reference to grits themselves. Grits have no flavor of their own; they take on the taste of what's added to them during the cooking process. E.g., cheese grits, shrimp and grits, bacon grits, grits and gravy, grits soup, butter, red grits and rice, dirt grits, _Grrrittz_The_Magic_Space_Robot_Alien_3.14, Paula Deen. You get the idea.

Add the fact that "grit" rhymes with "Mitt", and I think it's safe for all of us to assume that the only thing genuine about this pathological panderer is his love of the power of money. Are we sure he's not a JEW?!? We'd better baptize him posthumously just to be on the safe side.

True grits.

5 comments:

Keifus said...

Don't forget massive amounts of salt and butter. Oh wait, you already said Paula Deen.

Man, Mitt Romney makes pandering look bad.

David Marlow said...

it would seem to have elevated beyond pandering. i half expect him to do a minstrel number tomorrow morning in baton rouge. in full black face. i can almost hear jason sekakis and the snl writers scribbling madly away to keep up.

i finally joined the iTunes, keif. guess which 3 songs i downloaded first. i'll give you a hint: seasons change crash into me.

rundeep said...

Spring really hangs you up the most? Jane Monheit?

David Marlow said...

rundeep: "what's on my i[TUNES]"

1. the boxer
2. closer to fine
3. old man
4. ch-check it out
5. sabotage
6. fight the power
7. body movin' (fatboy slim remix)
8 love ain't for keeping
9. tightrope, janelle monae
10. rumour has it
11. crazy dreams (from "smash", it's a perfect song)
12. crash into me
13. black mountain side, richard devinck
14. black mountain side, jimmy page/bonzo
15. change
16. seasons

rundeep said...

this is embarrasing, but remember I share an account with a 15 year old.

1) Justin Timberlake -- Summer Love
2) Counting Crows -- Omaha
3) Jayhawks -- Waiting for the Sun
4) Bonnie Raitt -- Thank you
5) Gordon Lightfoot -- Holy hell its that sinking ship!
6) Talking Heads -- The Lady Don't Mind
7) M.I.A. the finger flipper -- Paper Planes
8) Johnny Cash -- Bridge Over Troubled Water (the American IV: Man Comes Around album is so boss)
9)Johnny Cash -- Hurt (same record, of course. Crazy cover, ridiculous in a great way video)
10)Pink -- Stupid Girls.

Odd none of my vast Adele or Bruuuuuce collection, or the extensive catalog of Ben Folds. (BTW, love that Janelle Monae tune)