Thursday, March 22, 2012

Hungry Game!, a movie review

ah well. i really miss doing those. they were so much fun to write, and i had the perfect audience for them. i think "batman: new beginnings" was my first one. "the de vinshy cold" wrote itself, as did "broken back mountains". "the exercising of emily rose" was a clear triumph for all of us, including those still binding and rebuking those little demons of our own to this day. (you know who you are.)

I must've been on some sort of auto pilot at the time. one of the first comments i got for "the batman" was "it's christian bale, not christian slater [dumbass!]", a comment which i treasure to this very day. and how could "x-man united: the last dance" not sweep the tony awards, considering the headliner was jew hackman?

tortured therapy, i suppose, born from a mother who was simply incapable of getting the title of a movie or its stars correct. i think we all knew her. those were for you and dad, mom! you and dad. a meager tribute, i suppose, to a mother who knew the difference between condescension and constructive sarcasm, and a father who really did put the "b" in subtle. ("Su'b'tle," he might say.)

7 comments:

Keifus said...

Whatever happened to Mork and Mindy, that's what I want to know.

Galaxy Quest was great, I think, more or less, for the reasons you mention. Sigourney Weaver is pretty awesome anyway (seriously, she's 82 years old now, and still smokin' hot), and Sam Rockwell is, somehow, relentlessly interesting. He somehow does "nervous" in a way that will still obviously get him constantly laid.

Goddamn talented people.

Schmutzie said...

I think it was Ocean Thirteen, or maybe Twelve, that was the tipping point for Smutty and Ellen. It was The Perfect Storm, ...no wait I can't use that, it's a real movie. It was a Clash of Fray Titans, where I was the Titan and Ellen was the thing that I got stuck on the bottom of my shoe. I didn't want to roll over her like that, but she ridiculed your effort at the exact moment I was howling with laughter. I'm not sure if it was "you churlish hagfish" or "you worthless sack of shit" that set her on fire (such as it was) but from that day until the last day, it was like having one of those little dogs that nip at your ankle nipping at my ankle. Ah, memories.

switters said...

west side story is on pbs. riff played the psychiatrist on twin peaks. i'm selling the b'ham house at a significant loss. up all night is pretty good, and will arnett is vastly underrated.

Schmutzie said...

Tweet from @JustinStangel (Letterman writer)

I'm so excited for "The Hunger Games" I shot my mailman Larry in the ass with a bow & arrow, then had a big dinner.

switters said...

see, now that's good.

bright said...

I've been trying to write a Hunger Games/Ender's Game post for reddit for about 2 months.

"what the hell is a jew hackman"? possibly my favorite kossack reaction.

switters said...

well, garsh, at least they were such good sports, considering "holy blood, holy braille: curing blindness with fish scales and mud".