ah well. i really miss doing those. they were so much fun to write, and i had the perfect audience for them. i think "batman: new beginnings" was my first one. "the de vinshy cold" wrote itself, as did "broken back mountains". "the exercising of emily rose" was a clear triumph for all of us, including those still binding and rebuking those little demons of our own to this day. (you know who you are.)
I must've been on some sort of auto pilot at the time. one of the first comments i got for "the batman" was "it's christian bale, not christian slater [dumbass!]", a comment which i treasure to this very day. and how could "x-man united: the last dance" not sweep the tony awards, considering the headliner was jew hackman?
tortured therapy, i suppose, born from a mother who was simply incapable of getting the title of a movie or its stars correct. i think we all knew her. those were for you and dad, mom! you and dad. a meager tribute, i suppose, to a mother who knew the difference between condescension and constructive sarcasm, and a father who really did put the "b" in subtle. ("Su'b'tle," he might say.)