Thursday, September 27, 2012

The Order Of Things, Part 1

So I finally broke down and netflixed the Battlestar mini series and watched all 4 (okay 3) hours. I was hooked immediately, needless to say, and the next 3 DVDs are awaiting my watching. Add the fact that the stove is drafting pretty well, and the first week of autumn remains uneventful. (Fingers crossed.)

Still, there are times when I second guess myself for what could be a pretty isolated winter. Keeping busy shouldn't be a problem, but motivating myself to actually stay busy is almost always a wild card. Good thing nobody likes to be cold.

Also, I've decided that the question of whether excessive alcohol abuse is more toxic than daytime tv is just way to close to call, and that it's an answer best left unheard of.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Moon River

Sadly, Andy Williams shouldn't be remembered for this perfect song. The definitive version is the original Henry Mancini arrangement for the fun for the whole family romp, Breakfast At Moon River.

The best version is by a trio consisting of bassist Larry Grenadier, drummer Jorge Rossi, and some doofus on piano, live at The Village Vanguard. To make it even cooler, they play it in the alternating keys of F and D throughout, with a sublime solo piano exploration at the end, which the doofus does at the end of most ballads.

Some of Johnny Mercer's most profound lyrics. The song itself nearly personifies melancholy and hope. At the same time.

Makes me sad just listening to it in my head.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Hey Emmy, what's with all The Homos on TV?

Move over, Modern Family. There's a new gay in town.

Ryan Murphy has taken the queer stereotype of his Glee and launched it into full-on caricature in The New Normal, only to be outdone by CBS's no-holds-barred Family Circle comic-esque Partners. (Perhaps a Sunday paper edition of the strip.)

Hey Ryan, your shows are controversial alright: lifting 30-year old jokes, recycling generation-old homogenized themes, and stories that have the eyebrow-raising ability to destroy their own momentum.

You go girl!

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Jesus Was Hazed

I mean, they hazed the hell out of Him. Literally. Begging the question, What would Jesus do? (Were we to forget about his super powers [supper powers?] for the moment at least. Keeping in mind that smiting, while distinctly Old Testament, is not necessarily limited to That Text, especially if it turns out he was married, which I think we already knew.)

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Sounding Beckett

Now why didn't we think of this?

Music inspired by plays that are themselves so musical that it wouldn't make sense to have the music incidental because Sam provides his own incidental music within his own prose, so have composers write music as a response to the musical prose? Call and response? Prelude and fugue?

I'm listening.

Also, I love that song "Call Me Later Baby" by Carla May Jefferson. Reminds me of the good old days with Rick O'Cassick's "Never Gonna Give You Up". Good times!

Oh, and is it just me, or did Mitt just say that the purpose of having a job is so that you can pay taxes?

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Oy, Royal Pains

1. This may sound hypocritical coming from me (A RABID ZIONIST!!!), but I wonder if it isn't too much to hope for that The House Of David mightn't ought to be expected to take care of itself. Oh, sure, they're surrounded by insane lunatics on all sides. But given this election season, SO ARE WE.

2. So the future Queen Of England is extremely attractive in all of her extreme awesomeness. I think we already knew that. She's also smart and likable. Next? I wonder if this whole mess couldn't be solved simply if England and France went back to war against each other again, just for old times' sake. It's been awhile.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

I miss Michele Bachmann?

She said the president needs to cancel his interview with David Letterman and Beyonce and JayZ and instead go meet with Bubbi Nat over there in Biblevania.

First of all, the last people Barry should be talking to are powerful blacks. She's absolutely right about that. Powerful blacks are a personal threat to white people of all races. And creeds. But you cancel an interview with Letterman at your own peril. Not on my watch.

Michele Bachmann represents admirably that which we all hold closest to our hearts, namely, staying in a loveless marriage in which the husband engages in homosexual acts with gay men of a queer nature at local dog shows with other homosexual gay queers. And lesbians.

You go girl! Been there done that! Don't go there! Definitely not TMI!

The thing I admire so much about attendees of the value voters convention is that they have none. Except for penis envy. Looking at you, guys! And lesbians.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Ready Set Go Day One

Is is just me, or has Mitt in the last 4 days made the best case yet for himself as to just exactly why he probably shouldn't be running anything? Unless it involves his own money and not legally?

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Proof, m'ladies?

1. Mitt Romney we're told has appointed many many many women to positions of importance, both in his professional life and in his campaign life.
2. Mormons not that long ago appointed many many many women to positions of importance in their marital life and in their reproductive life. And in their sexual intercourse life.
3. {2.} is a manifestation, a sublimation, and a projection of {1.}.
4. {3.} is just wonderful for women, and all women should vote for Mitt as American States president.
5. Unrelated: Planet Psyborg VI of the Zaxxon System (Valarius) needs women.
6. Terry Jones will get us all killed. Not the guy from Python. I think he's dead.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Everybody talks about the weather but nobody ever pays attention.

Is it just me or is the crux of this whole middle east problem basically the weather? Too hot. Oh, sure, they've got a couple cold nights and some sandstorms to deal with, but I'm talking about winter: sustained, miserable, relentless cold and snow and ice and wind and dark. And cold.

And wind.

So yeah, some shiftless evildoers sitting around a fire surrounded by a blizzard.
"Hey, let's go kill some ambassadors."
"Too cold. 4-wheel drive isn't working."
"Yeah. Kind of pointless anyway."

Winter gives you time, makes you give time, to put things a bit more in perspective. Sit in front of a cold stove not yet kindled at 4:15 in the morning and you just might hear yourself say, "Maybe I won't murder anyone today."

Yet again, Mother Nature is holding all the cards. And the newspaper and matches. Be quiet and listen. You might even learn something from your dog.

Where have all the modest proposals gone?

Eliminate insurance of all kind. Life is enough of a crapshoot without trying to stack the deck against the house's slot machines; we'd be better off trying to mix our metaphors. Let catastrophe be the ultimate river card, whether it's a flood or bone cancer, and it won't take us long to figure out that death may be the great equalizer, but three of a kind still beats a flush. Or the other way around.

Let the market decide! Pull back that curtain, Occam, and will we see State Farm, or Scarface?

Monday, September 10, 2012

Slug Fest 2012

I can't think of a final with two more evenly matched players. Not just skill level, e.g., Roger/Rafa (arguable), but game style and set management. We could be here all night. (Let's hope so. I don't feel like working anymore today/tonight.)

Friday, September 7, 2012

Pan-Network "Go Fuck Yourself, Cancer!" Presented Commercial Free

If the networks took the billions they spend on developing and producing new shows like The New Normal and Revolution and instead donated it directly to "science", we'd all be cancer free and live to be 173.

But then we wouldn't have shows like The Neighbors or commercials for cheese-flavored applesauce.

(Note to self: Cheese-flavored applesauce would be awesome!)

Thursday, September 6, 2012

In The Wake Of Hurricane Clinton

Now it's just a matter of time to see whether Mitt or Paul channels Frank Burns first:

"[... yeah... well... ] I once killed a gopher with a stick."

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Magic Chef! [sizzle sizzle] Season Finale Part 1: The Reaping

I don't know if it's because I've been watching Hell's Kitchen since the beginning, but Gordon is so much more likable on this show. And I mean really likable.

Cornish hen, scallops, fish... Fruit Loops. With milk. Chocolate milk. Boom!

Joe's mom has a cooking show on PBS.

There's a frog that lives somewhere around the well. He comes in sometimes after a rain to watch tv with us, in the garage. Moonpie is confounded by him. And I hope he doesn't come in tonight until after this segment. This is why I need to keep chickens.

Oh yeah, kale. I could live in kale. Not a typo, which is to say, e.g., I could cram it between them cabin studs for insulation. Kale rules! Can you smoke it?

Rigorous honesty: I've been on a cold fried chicken binge for the last 4 days. Where does it end?!?

I'm going to watch Michelle now because I don't think she looks like a real First Lady like Ann does. (I think she looks like a President.)

Monday, September 3, 2012

Why The Hunger Games Is The Greatest Movie Ever Made, I. Music

(Coinciding by no mistake with The Childhood Obesity Awareness Month.)

I. Music

James Newton Howard? Sure: a little John Williams, some Thomas Newman to fill in the dead spots, musique concrete = musique congreat!
There's no such thing as musical theft. It's called borrowing. Or stealing.
T Bone Burnett  can do no wrong. Just the mention of mandolins makes me sob uncontrollably.
But rewind the tape back to the "Countdown" scene. Now unless I've stopped taking my anti-inflammatory meds, that's Steve Reich, and it's "Music For 18 Musicians". I haven't checked IMDB, but I'm certain it is.
Steve Reich at the movies. Have you ever seen the like?

Music, a reason The Hunger Games is the greatest movie ever made.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Chronicles Of Roddick

Gloomy, muggy, lazy day today, a great one to take a lot of breaks, which is almost ideal considering I want to watch Andy play as much tennis this week as I can, given this is his last Open. Whatever!

Well, he's playing like he did when he first hit the scene, like he doesn't know what it would mean to play it safe, like he just loves to play. And he's actually approaching the net!

Which leads me to believe that he should've retired years ago.

He's fun to watch again.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

High Tide of the Crimson Wolverine

Well it's that time of year already again.

This is the most important game of the day and will determine the rest of the entire season. Easily. And I shall be blogging it happily. Let's Go Blue Tide Roll!

So let the tailgating begin, which already has in Tuscaloosa, but not until after Freshmen Orientation, which are the same thing, really, if you think about it.

Now, back to my complimentary copy of Obama 2016. Oh it's a wild ride that may or may not happen based entirely on fact checking which should hold no man back.