Tuesday, March 13, 2012

ow.

so yeah just got home from the emergency room. funny story. cougar town had just started and i was going to rip 1 more shelf board and call it a night. i ripped 1 too many and tore into my index finger. 7 stitches, bone scuffs and messy tendons. it'll never work right again she said, even with extensive surgery, which i won't have. no biggie; i've played enough piano for 3 lifetimes. and i'll still be able to hammer out some zep on the guitar hopefully. the problem is the 3 vicodins the doctor refused not to give me, though she was sympathetic to my disease. also there's typing lag, as in real slow.
still we might wonder just how healthy and real these nutty computer relationships are. i won't speak for y'all, but for me they are very real and very healthy. so i'm going to get a fire going and go to bed and not relapse. i promise. see you guys tomorrow.

20 comments:

bright said...

can I bring you a casserole?

switters said...

i'm good. hurts like hell this morning but there were folks in the er in far more pain than i was, and it coulda been worse. but i'm tired of feeling like i'm being tested, i coulda come home and wallowed in self-pity, etc., bright, but didn't. i was however so happy to see moonpie. but i am tired of feeling like i'm being trested, or something. and this weather is pretty awesome.

Schmutzie said...

Oh fuck. Table saws are wonderful tools, but they will bite you. After taking off the corner of my left index finger (nothing close to your damages, maybe 1/8" sheared right off clean) a dear friend asked me if I ever considered using a push block. Yeah, thanks for the tip asshole! So Switters, have you ever considered using a push block? It's like a handle thingy with an extension on the bottom that holds the board steady as you feed it into the....

Fuck! It hurts just reading about it.

Dentist gave me 12 vicodin after pulling a nasty cracked molar a few years ago.12! Took one, and enjoyed it so much I flushed the other 11 down the toilet. No sense getting started on another jones.

Good for you brother. Not the stupid table saw thing, that's not good. Drilling the finger,...also not good. Good for knowing yourself better than anyone else knows you. Good on you for knowing the weak spots and being strong enough to walk around them. You are being tested. Pass/fail. Every fucking day. And every time you pass, you get stronger. And I don't give a fuck if that sounds corny, it's true. You don't need anyone to pat you on the back, but it doesn't hurt.

Eye protection. Do it. Push block. Make one. Don't work when distracted by shit like TV shows, or Limbaugh. Focus. Concentrate. And work slowly.

switters said...

that's the thing. i was working slowly, just a brief lapse of focus. tests. the doc who stitched me up, her bro died of an o.d. but addiction is out there doing pushups just waiting for me to let my guard down. i just wish karma had used a different metaphor. in a strange way i've slowly become less pessimistic. remember our talking about the freedom of limitations? needless to say i'll be going easy and doing more prep than cutting for the next week. and boy was it great to see moonpie last night. of course she had to inspect the gauze and splint so that it met with her approval.

Schmutzie said...

Moonpie. I can just picture her checking it out. The "What the hell is this modification to your hand?" test. The sniff test. The look at your face. It is still you, right? Okay good, now if you'll excuse me I need to make sure it's still March outside. She must be loving this early spring.

Yeah, the demons are never far away my friend. Never will be. But every time you pass another test, they lose their pull a little bit, and you gain strength. Another day of kicking their ass. Another week. Maybe you're gradually gaining optimism because you keep passing the tests.

I try to remember Dick Proenneke before starting in with the tools, power or otherwise. Imagine being that far from an ER, and the dangers just waiting for him to slip and and space out for just 5 seconds. Total focus. My hero.





If you can stand the 15 second commercial intros, a worthwhile refresher while your finger heals up....

Part 1 >

Part 2

Schmutzie said...

Well shit, it looks like the Japanese site has bolluxed up the feed for Dick's Cabin...

Part 1 on YouTube

switters said...

oh man. just what i needed. get outta my head.

exactly: small victory=momentum=traction=more momentum. best part: it's cumulative.

you're a good guy. but is it wrong for me to listen to rush while cranking nick drake?

Schmutzie said...

Cumulative. Yes. Traction is a great way to put it. And the flip side, being sloppy on booze or dope or whatever,...feels like there's no grip. No traction. No momentum. No progress.

And while we disagree somewhat on the Saturday in The Park years, I contend that Feelin' Stronger Every Day is one of the most inspirational pieces of music ever put down by the boys.

"My dream was a dream no longer.This was something I had to do. I suppose I was here to test myself. No that I hadn't done it before, but this was to be a more lasting examination."-

Damn Dick! You are just talking about building a cabin right?

switters said...

"feelin' stronger" added to cue.

Schmutzie said...

Re Rush: 78 out of 90 ads run on his show in the 4 days following SlutProstituteGate were free ads. I'll be interested to see if those who fled return when the heat dies down.

It doesn't bother me if you listen to Rush and Drake at the same time buddy, although I think Moonpie deserves From The Morning without the background blather.

Schmutzie said...

Feelin' Stronger. And I thought it was just a tune I listened to a lot right after the divorce. Timeless.

switters said...

how long till i'm no longer afraid of my saws?

Schmutzie said...

Yeah, the first time you hit the power switch after a mishap is startling. I think they get louder.

switters said...

"old days" like so many puts me immediately in a good mood, and not just because todd used it in starsky and hutch.

Schmutzie said...

Almost every Chicago tune is a monster mnemonic trigger for me. Early stuff was constantly playing on my oldest brother Bill's turn-table (is turntable hyphenated?)when I was 14-15 yrs old. He became obsessed with buying their next album the day it came out. Kept them in (Roman) numeric order in a milk crate next to the turn-table. By the time he went to Northern Ill, he was up to Chicago VIII and he'd blast "Old Days" so loud you could hear it in the dorm parking lot. Agreed on that tune. Immediate mood elevation.

I love Starsky & Hutch. Wilson & Stiller are great together. Speaking of Todd and mnemonic triggers, if I hear Rundgren's "I Saw The Light" ...dude,I'm immediately transported back in time to 8th grade. Shiela Murphy's house on a Friday night after roller skating, with fellow 8th grade yoots. People would 'make out' in the basement. We smoked cigarettes. The occasional beer stolen from Shiela's dad. Damn.("Hello It's Me" same, but I didn't like that one as much. Shiela loved it.) Music from my childhood is so damned powerful that way. Maybe that's why my tastes have never progressed much past the 70s.

Schmutzie said...

Todd

rundeep said...

Oh dear Lord. Well, dude, the Lord never does send what we can't deal with, my mom says. Sorry for events, happy how you are handling it. You may get more function than you think. Dr. John plays the piano and the guitar with less than 10 full fingers. Hearts, flowers, unicorns and golden retriever smiles your way. My pain now is reduced to having a beautiful teenage daughter. Where did that time go? She was just a little kid. Now she looks 20. Without makeup. Christ, I'm dead.

switters said...

well, it's like what jesus said to simon peter when he asked if he had any supper plans on good friday: "nothin' i can't move around."

rundeep, how is your mom?

rundeep said...

Mom's doing amazingly well. Has another checkup next month, but the first one (6 months after the end of chemo) was good. She's anemic, they are trying to build her back up, but on the whole, excellent. We had a suprise 80th birthday party for her in December, and she looked wonderful. Not as great as she did in my profile pic, but damn good. Thanks for asking.

Cindy said...

Hey - I've missed a few days an all hell has broken loose here.

Glad you're okay, switters.

And your mom, run deep. Very glad of that too.

More later - love you guys.