Wednesday, May 16, 2012

"Mom-agers"*: Dina Lohan Versus Kris Jenner

Kris sets Dina's hair on fire while Dina shoots at it, exploding. 5 killed.

First of all, Today Show writers (Oh! Good one!), if you're going to do a play on words, it has to sound like an actual word without being that word, e.g., "Linsanity", or "celebretard", or "refudiate".

So I"m watching this documentary on nomadic yak farmers in rural Tibet (somewhat redundant, I know), and it got me to thinking. When the revolution comes, and it will come, and you find yourself in a ditch fending off homophobic bigoted evangelical robot cannibals, whom do you want next to you in that ditch: Mongolian farmers who can make gunpowder from petrified clay and livestock dung, or someone who kind of sort of designed a handbag that also functions in a pinch as a birth control device that clearly doesn't work?

I SO WANT THAT HANDBAG!!!?!!!

*The hyphen really sells it.

5 comments:

Penal-Colony said...

Sandbag? Don't they sell 'em at The Home Depot, beside the power-hose nozzles and the shop-vacs?

[Hi Topazz.]

switters said...

Hey, I'm doing a pruning experiment on my oldest apple tree. I've waited about 20 days after the blooms, and I'm thinning the heck out of it, and may top it. It's pretty close to the end.

Also, guess what I was doing exactly one year ago?*







*because i was so drunk, your guess is as good as mine

Penal-Colony said...

It's no accident you connected these two, and therein lies the brilliance of your choice.

switters said...

well, i suppose i could've said that i find the kardashians are less useful than sandbags, but i found that to be an insult to sandbags everywhere.

don't tell anyone, but june 10 will be 1 year. also, have i mentioned that i may or may not have real living relatives over there, and that i may or may not be related somewhat to christopher marlowe? that's right; i said it.

don't take this the wrong way, but i really appreciate you being here.

Penal-Colony said...

Kit Marlowe. Wow.

He along with Thomas Nashe were, are up there beside SS.

I lurk mostly, read mostly, but am here.

1 yr stronger.