Monday, May 28, 2012

1-Day Diary Of A Scatterbrained Procrastinating Drunk

Not to be confused with Dr. Phil's "Confessions Of A Morbidly Obese Bridezilla", or Anderson Cooper's "Profiles In Courage Of Men In Love With Blow Up Sex Dolls", or "Uh-Oh Hoda And Kathy Lee In Their Cups Yet Again Whilst Making Kristen Wiig's Departure From SNL All About Them [Indecipherable Journal Entries]". At least not right away. But the whole thing is just so Memorial Day.

Hot. That's what it is. Hot. But Today's list:

1. procrastinate some more on putting up the corner post
2. plywood exterior siding experiment

Join me, won't you?!?!? You might not hate my iTunes ultimate party mix and profanity-drowning-out music fest. E.g., "Clearly I remember/Pickin' on the boy/Seemed a harmless little fuck."

20 comments:

switters said...

"Tones Of Home" reminds me of Wittenberg University and frisbee golf. Where did the time go?!? And Fitz.

switters said...

"Little Less Talking" remix reminds me of Tia's wedding reception at which Andrew and I talked at length about the subtle genius of the remix, in particular the entrance [also called "the drop", in certain circles] of the "digital bass" (not the fish). 2003? Okay, okay, back to it.

switters said...

Whew. The post is up. So the only thing standing in the way of the 2 posts holding up the entire upstairs (okay, the entire house) is one jacked brace right between them. I'm going in. (After a cigarette and some "Nate Burkis [Burkus?]".)

switters said...

[fingers crossed]

Victory is mine.
The King and The Land are One.
The Farmer and The Land are One.
I am The King. I am The Farmer.
I am The Land.

I AM AMISH (but with grape soda and television [come on, Bachelorette!])!!!

switters said...

Ah, so "World Cafe" is ending their 20th anniversary series with a series of live concerts from years gone by, and The Indigo Girls were featured. And if I'm not mistaken, their segment was sponsored by U-Haul, DeWalt Tools, and Flannel By Sears. Ha ha ha ha!

Schmutzie said...

Sounds like it's time to unjack that brace, maybe a half crank at a time? And once the strain is released, and the two posts prove sufficient, he stands and admires his handiwork,...arms raised in a V! And the dead lay, in pools of maroon below.

switters said...

That was a very good feeling. The fact that I did it by myself, as you might say, is the sweet mercy of bragging rites/rights and the welcome slumber of not death. Not counting the 7 dress-rehearsals, only almost dropped it twice. Moondog was at the ready to pull me free of the debris. You correctly deduced that she's a smart dog but also smarter than most people. There's a great Garrison quote I'll dig up for later.

Schmutzie said...

Is there a better feeling than a job well done with your own hands? (You know, aside from the other good feeling stuff.) Let's hold off until the next good blow before we start pronouncing ourselves Amish though. If that place starts listing to port, get that dog and head for the pump bunker.

Isonomist said...

I custom made my own window screen, 63" x 24". It doesn't hold up the friggin house though. Much respect.

switters said...

"What would a Romney presidency look like? He would stand up to China and make them play by the rules."

Finally, someone who would stand up to China and make them play by the rules. And all that all day 02.

Isonomist said...

I tried to picture what differences Romney saw between his view of how America should be run, and China's actual policies toward its own people. And the only thing I can rationally believe he sees is a difference is the forced abortion thing, really.

switters said...

Wait. Define "forced". [Chortle!]

switters said...

I'm getting old. It's not just the heat. My dad didn't mind the heat, or the humidity, and I've postulated it was because he grew up in north central Iowa, where no matter how hot it was there was always a breeze, be it a warm breeze, but still a breeze.

I'm trying to estimate how much the post I wrestled with this morning weighs. It's exactly 109 and 1/4 inches, about 7 inches in diameter. So, what, 120 pounds? After about 20 minutes it felt like 2000 pounds. (That would be 1 ton for you Rush Limbaugh listeners.) Now it's not nearly as unruly as the other one I had help with. But what's pretty cool is that the one I installed today is more plumb, near perfect. That makes me feel humble.

But my hands don't work as well as they used to even 5 years ago. Piano? But I'm tired and beat up, but feeling okay. I don't remember what the blackberry season was here last year, but by the looks of the blooms and the baby fruit I see on my tractor rides, you dorks may be getting some care packages in the shape of blackberry preserves in jars, just to add to the mystique.

switters said...

Okay, found it. After I read this I was RunningOverFortyLesbiansMakingAnOmelette:

"I crossed Main Street toward Ralph's [Pretty Good Grocery] and stopped, hearing a sound from childhood in the distance. The faint mutter of ancient combines. Norwegian bachelor farmers combining in their antique McCormacks, the old six-footers. New combines cut a twenty-foot swath, but those guys aren't interested in getting done sooner, it would only mean a longer wait until bedtime."
-that Keillor person, Lake Wobegon Days

bright said...

reminds me of my college radio show and anorexia.

hot, but a great day to take kids on water rides at Cedar Point. there's some productiveness there, but not quite like building a home.

blessings.

switters said...

"The Pusher". I put it in my ultimate iTunes mix, because I really think it sends the right message to all those kids. Didn't realize that the person, Steppenwolf, Phil Steppenwolf, didn't write it, which I found out about 7 years ago. It's a pretty good song, and it was written by Hoyt Axton! But man, the lyrics. Dude was is a lotta pain, and it's sort of a tough song to listen to. And I can only conclude that if Rush had been listening to it instead of writhing on the bathroom floor in his own fecal matter and vomit, he wouldn't be such an unmitigated twat.

switters said...

The UPS truck arrives bearing gifts:
Tower Heist
Deadwood, The Complete Series
Tropic Thunder
Band Of Brothers
I Am America (And So Can You!)

Isonomist said...

Better us than the bears.

switters said...

And then a trip out to the mailbox with moonpie (she takes point on the way out but has my "6" on the way back) on the tractor to reveal Indecision 2004.

switters said...

Uh-oh. I think I might be a monarchist. Which means I'll need to buy/see The King's Speech, and buy John Adams, because the "tooth scene" with Washington makes me squirm, which means I need to get a tooth pulled tomorrow.