Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Heroic Icon, Or Iconic Hero? Anderson Cooper Notes

Anderson Cooper 360??? 180?!?!?!? Try 540!!!

Anderson bravely blows lid off story everyone already knew and really didn't care about and now cares even less about.

"We prefer our gays to be more stylish and less self-absorbed. And that they can actually read."

It's his pioneering new style of Don't Ask Don't Tell journalism that really gets our nipples hard.

Fox News Reports It May Now Believe That Real America Is Actually Gay, Making Real Americans Gay, Making Most Republican Legislators Real Americans, Again, Check Mate

Newsman breaks news by making news by being news that isn't news thereby breaking news even more.
"... [F]act is, why simply report the news when you can be it, no matter how lame and predictable..."

Mini Cooper-Cruise Power Marriage In The Works?

Anderson Cooper comes out of closet, goes back in, comes back out with even uglier shirt.

Gay Vanderbilt Queer Heir (Queir) Raises Stakes And Eyebrows In Attention Whore Game

"... [F]act is, I'm gay. [But don't worry, I'm still very not smart.]"

Today Leads With Bleeding Ann Curry, Follows With Howie Mandel, Parallel Parking Jap Thug, talking ball of yarn as possible Romney running mate

"His fudge packs a real punch."

&c., and so forth, and the like...

Speaking of which, Deadwood, Season 2, Episode 8, "Childish Things". 'nuff said.


Keifus said...

Jesus. Next thing you'll tell me, Adam Lambert is gay.

switters said...

Remember so many years ago when we were saying Adam should bail on Idol, start with the Zep catalogue and proceed to the The Who? Well, this spring Queen did a stop on their reunion in Dayton and the local DJ was saying to give faggot Adam a chance because it was really good, with the symphony no less. Who's the faggot now, DJ?

Forgot one. "Anderson Copper: Openly Gay, Still Retarded"

Master Chef! [sssssssssPOPsssssssss]
My Fantasy Mystery Box? Palestrina-era harmony and counterpoint. "What's this, Joe? Parallel 5ths with a 3rd resolving with an inelegant passing tone? Sounds like someone might want to go back to studying the 1 voice fugue, huh. Nice try, Lao Che!"

Keifus said...

That comment is more than a little bit above my grade level, but hey, that's the whole point. My god, that guy's a jerk. (Ratings!)

switters said...

Well, my comment would be accompanied by my attempt to spit bad music out of my mouth into an awaiting and conveniently place garbage bin, which I haven't done in 25 years!

Felix looks exactly like an Asian version of Santana from Glee, and the blind gal is an absolute delight.

Keifus said...

I almost listened to the masterchef intro to dissect it (I should be able to hear parallel fifths if they're pointed out, right?), but couldn't quite be bothered to. Felix is like Asian Santana but filled out, and cooler, if only because she's so hard to typecast. (After a while I get tired of pretending I don't notice these things.) Agree about the blind girl.

I'm like your dad with the family dogs.