Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Cialis Commercial Erupts Prematurely At Campaign Event

So, should we unzip Mitt and see just exactly how not stiff he is?
Lame. And too easy. Sorry. But I'm still waiting for the part where The Mittster and The Misses are sitting naked in adjoining and matching bathtubs by a lake. Or is that just me?

27 comments:

Keifus said...

It's prolly safe to assume still got their special underwear on. "Do you feel anything yet, Dear?"

(Either that, or Mitt takes pains to seem exactly as virile as an executive of his perceived calm and fatherly stature should. No more, and no less.)

switters said...

so keif, i'm planing the new floor in my outhouse listening to all things considered and i overhear over the din something about rick santorum and bibles and guns and atticus finch. please tell me it's the paint fume particles.

switters said...

and, may i add, with all due modesty, that the toilet makes a cunning armrest whilst sanding.

and before i forget re: the united states of american country music awards show of america: rascal flats? more like "rascal fags!" haha hahaha ha hahaha!

switters said...

and before i forget:

Frayge6: TheOuterSanctum
Whitney Houston Autopsy Reveals She's Still Dead
"Oh yeah? Tell that to Jesus this weekend!"

switters said...

and in conclusion, i think i may have accidentally written tonight's episode of "community". your welcome.

Keifus said...

I tend to get Rascal Flatts mixed up (when I hear the name) with Ricky Skaggs. It's always a disappointing experience.

Yeah, sure, I missed the ATC, but I get it. It's kind of like in teh book when Atticus Finch accused a black man of sleeping with a white woman, and then made her keep the baby, while automatically condemning the dad to jail, because he knew how *those* people were. That's how it went, right?

Christ, I hate Rick Santorum.

switters said...

hey, something funny just occurred to me. way back in 2005 i was on my way to work and npr had a blurb about some politician from pennsylvania. and i said out loud to myself, "wow, that guy is either a retard or insane." i get to work, see a post by IOZ and, knowing he was a pitt guy, asked him, "hey, IOZ, there was this guy on my radio yammering. rick something something. is he insane, or is he a retard?" and IOZ replied, "he's both."

and InsaneRetard was born. BOOM!!! it's the circle of life. again.

Keifus said...

Stupid or evil, it's the age-old question, and IOZ's right, it's not mutually exclusive. I put the Rickster more on the evil side though. All those years of lobbying. And is it more stupid or more evil to believe all your own regressive bullshit?

My only sock puppet was Rex Grossman, and that was a pretty halfhearted attempt. Really only had him to pick on Smutty from time to time.

Offered the missus a cunning rest last night. Got me about as far as usual.

Schmutzie said...

You were Rex Grossman? Now that is a surprise.

I was Clown Shoes.

Speaking of Santorum and bad quarterbacks on Good Friday, I wonder what Jesus would think about Tim Tebow and Rick Santorum spreading the word. I'm thinking Jesus would like to kick both of them in the nuts.

rundeep said...

Jesus won the punt pass and kick of his time. Or so I'm told. I can't wait for my first call from a Santorumite on the ground here. Lawddy, gonna be fun. Happy Easter Peeps!

Schmutzie said...

Rick's got some issues with you female women voters. I can't decide if I want him to win PA so that the Republicans drag this into May and June, or lose PA so he'll go the hell away. Happy Easter to you.

rundeep said...

You know, I can't predict it. There was a lot of fatigue here with him when he lost to Bob Casey. He just seemed not worth the trouble. But since then we've elected an equally conservative (and possibly more dangerous) dingdong in Pat Toomey. Most of the state is pretty conservative -- we'll see how it rolls.

Schmutzie said...

I've paid more attention to PA than most of the others. The OK,AL,MS,KS,LA stuff isn't surprising. They'll vote for Mitt if and when. Figure PA to go pretty much like OH, Mitt takes City Dwellers/Rick takes Hill People. So that'll make turnout an interesting thing, esp in Philly's burbs (like I'm telling you something you don't already know.)

I'm still holding out hope that he'll self-immolate or spontaneously combust. After he fled for home while the WI votes were still being counted, the AP tweets "Santorum hopes to catch fire in his home state" and I'm reaching for my Zippo.

switters said...

when it comes to running the country, and i had to choose between rick santorum and john tesh's disembodied brain in a glass sphere hooked up with jumper cables to an old missile command game, i'd err on the side of caution and choose the tesh brain hooked up to the old missile command game, even if you had to put quarters in it still, or him.

Schmutzie said...

I forgot to state parenthetically that the OH rural vote going for Santorum doesn't mean that you should feel like your neighbors are Opus Dei freaks who take turns lashing each other. Maybe statistically speaking the odds are a little better, but that guy who lets you clear the woods for him seems nice.

Keifus said...

Maybe ole JC would have at least whipped their sanctimonious asses around the temple for a few rounds. (Even the son of God can only be expected to take so much of that shit. Such Pharisees our modern holy rollers are.)

And didn't He have a couple of words about hypocrites and public prayer?

Happy Easter to y'all.

switters said...

guys? seriously:

tesh brain<----->jumper cables<----->missile command game

it's like a pile of world peace in a comfort bowl.

Schmutzie said...

I was doing a bit of Matthew this morning and was reminded that "Live by sword, perish by sword" - "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." were JC's. Very quotable dude. Which is why the phoney Pharisaic bastards who spent the most time telling me how I need to accept the word are often the same ones who are bending over the pages (instead of using bookmarks), cruising for blowjobs in the men's room at the Minneapolis airport, & publicly jerking off while invoking Biblical chapters and verses while simultaneously explaining why we need to blow up Iran before they acquire large explosive devices.

Keifus said...

Well, the next line is, and I paraphrase sacrireligiously: "go into the closet and you'll totally be rewarded." Maybe that's the part of it they took to heart.

And swit, I'm sure there's nothing in John Tesh's disembodied brain but smoooooth white-guy jazz. He'd keep the world mellow.

switters said...

perhaps you nimrods are not familiar with the lost gospel of jesus the christ among the aztecs? the one where he invents corn? we call it maize. anyways it's been in a couple papers. jesus!

Keifus said...

Whoa, I didn't know that's really in Mitt's book! Way to bring it full circle, man. This is going to be the scariest 2012 yet.

Schmutzie said...

I think Mormonism was invented since the Cubs last won a World Series so they're still establishing a good solid body of work. I do like the part where they Baptize dead Jews without even asking permission.I'd probably vote for Mitt over Tesh's brain on jumper cables though. Not Santorum. I'd vote for the Tesh brain there.

switters said...

well i broke down and finally bought the "my weakness is strength" album. i've been not breathing for the last hour.

rundeep said...

Funny, I bought the new Dr. John record instead. Very cool. Like his old stuff, only better produced. (Saw him once at a now-gone venerable institution do his whole voodoo thing, including passing a python around. It was kind of great.)

switters said...

"my weakness is strong". luckily i'm turning into my mom. that new doc john got a great review on atc, if it's the one with... is it with the black keys guys? what they played sounded just like you said, back to the voodoo days, but incredibly funky. it would seem you are unable to do anything wrong in my eyes. again.

i also bought patton's "finest hour". can't wait. also, i've had a great week. lots of plumbing/carpentry fuckups and the like, but just really good days. what the "f"?

rundeep said...

Ma-whah. It is indeed the Black Keys guy and it's fabulous. Somehow it sounds a little like the Trombone Shorty stuff (which I also love) and I'm not sure why that is. Need to keep listening and figure it out. Is it just that New Orleans has that deep a DNA? Is it all connected no matter what? (By the way, you have to ask for the DVDs for Treme for your birthday or something. It's such a good show and the music is To.Die.For.) I'm so happy for and proud of you. Resurrection didn't all happen behind a rock.

Penal-Colony said...

Hi Switters,

I loved you, man. Your wit was to die for. I do recall it all.

Yeah, I died and got born again a few times. It was fun, no jumper cables needed, and some things are best left unpickled.

The Fray got sucked back into Erewhon. No Second Cuming neither. How 'bout them nibbles.

See y'all.

John