Monday, January 16, 2012

retards everywhere: open thread

(do we still do those?)

so. target. glee. madonna's comedic sensibility and the fact that she beat out chris cornell on the golden globes. and the golden globes, which i loved. the big winner of the night was, of course, as usual, the music director and his eerie and vast power over the most powerful people in the world, namely, cock suckers, e.g., advertising executives, a.k.a., mongoloidal pedophilic lying poisoners of body and mind, e.g., general motors, little better than used whore salesmen.

oops. right. the bachelor. needless to say, the only thing wrong with it is that it's only 2 hours long and on only 1 night a week. that we know of. i'll be the one pulling for the flu virus oozing throughout the house like the angel of death in the charlie heston movie where he plays god. (i.e., harvey weinstein [sic].) though puking is a great way to lose a couple pounds before the rose ceremony!

not to jinks it, but i'm doing pretty darn good. maybe even better than i deserve to. and i bought a really nice table saw that i've wanted for 10 years. and a really nice miter saw that i don't need. still, nice to see ricky lay off the midget.

14 comments:

switters said...

er... the undertaker? i wasn't that drunk. is it just me, or does anyone else miss joe millionaire? remember him? the underwear model? dumb as a sandbag good times. and the water works!

Schmutzie said...

You must get on Twitter dude. The running commentary from people like Justin Stangel (Letterman writer) was fucking priceless. "With Madonna and Depp faking British accents, I think Gervais should start doing a Brooklyn voice."..."I like Kate Winslet, except when she pretends to be humble."

Schmutzie said...

Oh, and there's no such thing as a miter saw you don't need.

switters said...

ah. i'm still reeling from our nation's collective reverberant [cough] with regard to colbert's alleged stunt. it's a good saw. a dewalt that was on sale. but the table saw is a ridgid. pretty much needed that for the ripping alone.

Schmutzie said...

I love Colbert passing off the Super Pac to Stewart. That's pure genius when running for Pres of SC.

We don't want a table saw, we need a table saw. Dewalt is gold, or yellow. Nice tool. A must have. Miter saw surprisingly useful for straight cuts. Table fine for ripping, but for chopping, gotta have that pull-down lever. And always remember eye safety. The minute you think it's just one cut, and the goggles are over on the other end of the room....somebody gets an eye put out. If you have the hole in the table on the opposite side of the rip-fence, it's perfect for a router pointing upward. That's my set-up, and it works. Next investment my friend, ...router.

Isonomist said...

I have a router. I want a miter saw. But it won't matter if Mr. Nomist gets his way and we end up in Austin. *sigh *

On the bright side, monster bug wars, tuesdays at 8, Science channel.

switters said...

router on list. but add me to the notable retards list because i have yet to be able to heal a board. hey, iso. you hanging in? also, who is this chanting tatum fella who seems to be in every movie that's new? my entertainment weekly prescription lapsed.* also, i kind of hate home depot right now.

*this is a lie

Isonomist said...

I'm hangin so far. Note that I am much more aware of the evil in the world now than even last year, but here I sit anyway. I think Channing Tatum is meant to be an earnest ball of muscle.

switters said...

hanning chatum has some serious acting chops. i saw him on live with kelly while grinding my andirons.* if it makes you feel any better, i don't need a router; i want one; and i'm hooked on abc's wednesday madcap comedies, including REVENGE!, which is our generation's falcon crest, but without all the the wine and such. also, never forget what a keeper you are and that i have many one days at a time ahead of me like you.

*also a lie

Schmutzie said...

Home Depot is run by retards.

"I just bought the Delta table saw that was 50% off because it was out of the box. Some kind of demo that Home Depot was putting on. Love the saw, but I can't find the blade guard or the wrench to change blades. Could you look under the counter there? It's probably all together in a plastic bag with the owner's manual and the warranty thingy."

Home Depot retard- "Oh I can't stand when they do that. Do you have your receipt?"

"Yeah, and I have the saw in my car if you want to see it."

"No, that's OK. If you bring it in you can just exchange it."

"No no no. That's not necessary ...just want the wrench & blade guard..." blah blah blah

Boring story short, pimple-face insisted that I take a brand new, in-the-box saw for the 50% off price...

I gave up and let him win.

Hate to be a Home Depot shareholder.


Iso- I love the image of you with goggles on and working an ogee bit around the edge of a nice piece of red oak. Austin? Ugh indeed. I can't even hear about the place without flashing on Gunnery Sargent Hartmann (R Lee Ermey) asking the marine recruits if they know who Charles Whitman is.

switters said...

smut, bought a small cart to pull chainsaw, oil, gas, scrench etc. behind wood cart so i can look even more ridiculous trodging across mr. hill's frozen tundra to get fuel. blew the right tire. went to depot to buy replacement wheel/tire. you know, where i bought the cart in the first place. they don't carry it. so this morning moonpie and i will head to the troy tractor supply to see if they have the right axle size. long story short: 8 months ago i would've retreated to vodka first thing in the morning on account of anxiety over the situation. my baby steps.

Schmutzie said...

Home Depot sells crap. Even the name brand stuff they sell is the crap version of the good stuff. Milwaukee tools, Toro snow blowers, ,,,all crap. They had the Pella "Pro Line" replacement window distribution contract for a few years, and I asked a guy at a real Pella store what he thought of his company allowing the brand to get trashed by that piece of lightweight garbage. He just looked at the floor and shrugged.

Mr. Hill sounds like a hell of a fine neighbor.

I'm proud of you Swit, and you should be proud of yourself and of what you've accomplished. I know exactly what you mean, but I'd argue these aren't baby steps you're taking my friend. Huge strides.

rundeep said...

I love to rout stuff. Also, switters, glad you are sober with all these new power tools around. Just sayin. Also, encouraged that you are popping up more.

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