Hallmark's A Smile As Wide As The Moon

A class of special education students goes to space camp and gets a very special education of their own, as do we. I.e., Riding The Shuttle With My Sister. Everybody wins. [ahem] Though it does sound eerily reminiscent of tonight's Bachelor plot, what with all the adhd's and hdt's and dt's (yeah, lots of wine) and hdtv's and std's and svu's. Add the fact that newt says mitt's healthcare reforms will eliminate kosher meals for elderly jewish floridians and elderly florida jewidians, and i think we can all agree that community organizing is at the soul and root and cause and effect of socialism around the globe, expecially in northern europe and the u.s.s.r. also, i thought cbs owned the hallmark hall of fame franchise. doubleyou tee eff???!!!???

South Carolina: "Mitt Just Not Racist Enough"

Newt responds: "Freedom of speech is destroying our freedom of speech. And sex acts protected under the 5th ammendment."

President Obama too busy being president to respond.

Meanwhile, Al Gore reinvents the internets and calculator.

And Jefferson survives.

P.S. I truly hope that Joe had at least a bit of peace at the hour of his taking away.

Mitt v. Newt

Open marriages, slaves to The Book Of Mormon Satan, multiple wives and multiple wives and a possible second (okay, third) family in rural Mexico, the republican frontrunners are starting to make Ron Paul look less and less like m'boy Dennis Kucinich almost every hour it would seem. Rest assured that these walking raisin cakes will have plenty of time to figure out what went wrong with their campaigns and why they fall for women whose hair color doesn't occur in nature very often ever during President Obama's third term. As President. Of The United States. The Middle Part this time.

And they have funny sounding names! HAHAHA HA HAHAHAHA!!!

Now I think most democrats, so-called, are generally lip-quivering pussies, but boy I sure do like my current President. Plus, it would seem Gingy's the one doing all the crying.

retards everywhere: open thread

(do we still do those?)

so. target. glee. madonna's comedic sensibility and the fact that she beat out chris cornell on the golden globes. and the golden globes, which i loved. the big winner of the night was, of course, as usual, the music director and his eerie and vast power over the most powerful people in the world, namely, cock suckers, e.g., advertising executives, a.k.a., mongoloidal pedophilic lying poisoners of body and mind, e.g., general motors, little better than used whore salesmen.

oops. right. the bachelor. needless to say, the only thing wrong with it is that it's only 2 hours long and on only 1 night a week. that we know of. i'll be the one pulling for the flu virus oozing throughout the house like the angel of death in the charlie heston movie where he plays god. (i.e., harvey weinstein [sic].) though puking is a great way to lose a couple pounds before the rose ceremony!

not to jinks it, but i'm doing pretty darn good. maybe even better than i deserve to. and i bought a really nice table saw that i've wanted for 10 years. and a really nice miter saw that i don't need. still, nice to see ricky lay off the midget.

BACHELOR XXIVX: ATTACK OF THE GIANT ALIEN SPACE ROBOT CUNTS

(TOO MUCH?!?!) SO, YEAH, I WAS REALLY DRUNK DURING LAST YEAR'S RUN (WHAT?), WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE A GOOD THING BECAUSE THIS SHOW REALLY IS A LOT MORE TOLERABLE WASTED! ALSO, I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE A PARAGRAPH! OR SPELL. ANYWAYS, THIS SEASON IS REALLY TURNING OUT TO BE REALITY TV AT IT'S BEST! NAMELY, FAKE. THOUGH THE RELATIVE INSANE RETARDATION OF THOSE INVOLED MAKES IT THAT MUCH MORE REAL! THERE SEEMS TO BE A DEARTH OF THOSE INVOLVED WITH THE WHOLE DENTAL HYGENICS GAME, E.G., THERE SEEMS TO BE AT LEAST MORE THAN THREE DENTAL HYGENECISTS. (WONDERING WHAT ALL THE SHOUTING IS ABOUT? I'M TESTING BLOGGER. THEY'LL FAIL. AGAIN!) ALSO, IS A "VIP COCKTAIL WAITRESS" CODE FOR "ACTOR/SINGER/HOOKER", OR JUST "SKANK/GIZ JAR"?!? WTF??? EITHER WAY, I'M "HOOKED"! (SORRY. NO AFFILIATES CARRY ACCESS HOLLYWOOD, SO MY 4-1-1 IS MORE LIKE OPERATOR ERRRORR! ER... BUT WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE PUNCTUATION.) still, while the gal from clarksville tn is quite sweet and decent, and the blogger chick from nyc is clearly on a lithium bicarbonate cocktail, this batch of bridesmaids just don't seem to understand da roolz! i.e., leave your dignitiy, grace, self-esteem and any remnant of awareness at the door. the bedroom door, that is!!! and assume the (fetal) position!