And cracked open a Natty Lite.
Okay, alright. Well this hell-hole pretty much puts the "geddon" in "armageddon". It's like Mars, but with slightly better weather and less promising life forms. Jesus.
The woman thing was a stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. Smart, funny, wise beyond her gender. [cosmic Chortle here] Soft, bumpy, smells good. So not a total loss.
But what we need is some sort of creature whose loyalty is surpassed only by its protectiveness. Affectionate, but not needy. Definitely not needy. I mean Adam over there really puts the "depend" in "codependent". (Note to self: Pre-engineer basic bladder failure at around age 32 -- like they'll survive that long! I'll call it "Intelligent Designed Obsolescence".) Well, at least Adam gives me something to point and laugh at already again.
So. Something with 4 legs, maybe a tail, with a look that conveys just the right amount of, "Yeah, uh, Simple Jack, were you gonna feed me anytime soon?" mixed in with, "I'm beginning to wonder just who belongs to whom," and perhaps a touch of, "Well I suppose I'd better slog through this fiasco with him so he's not completely alone."
I.e., something that's not a cat.
Hmmm... I'll call it "Undetached Dog Parts". Everybody wins, and a real hoot for the squirrels.
Checking list... Oh, I've gotta meet with that one pernicious angel who loves music about setting up a timetable where The Dawn Of The Dead Of The End Of Times Of The Night Of The Rise Of The Mindless Worship Of Sloppy Thinking And Mediocrity is ushered in, in the early 21st century, by One Direction, and something called a Bieber. Yikes! Even Baal will want to kill himself when he hears that puss-laden ear crap!
Hey Gabe, let's pump up the jams!
Doesn't it feel good?