Thursday, May 5, 2011

addiction

"alcoholism is not a disease; it's a choice." that's what dad would say. i miss that man. moving forward is hard enough when demons are holding you by the... heels. may 5, 34 degrees? really?

37 comments:

topazz said...

with all due respect to your father switters, it not only IS a disease, but it is one that you definitely need to get help and support for. You can't do it alone. My father has been seeing a doctor/psychologist for the past 3 months since my mother died. He's holding his own as far as the drinking goes but we're coming up on what I'm afraid is going to be a trigger: my parents wedding anniversary on May 15th. Have to make sure we have lots of stuff planned for him over that week.

switters said...

hey topazz, may i say how fond i am of you? and that after 6 years never having met you that...

topazz said...

me too switters, about you. I loved you from the first time I laid eyes on your post about Mork and Mindy. "Riding on the Bus With My Sister" only cemented my feelings. I was terribly jealous of andkathleen just sashaying in and sweeping you off your feet.

bright said...

The one thing that makes me think demon possession might be real is addiction. Nicotine had me and killing that creature was the hardest thing I ever did. There are still days when that thing knocks on my door and I actually think about answering.

The simple truth is that you have to fight it, and kill it, and you need to arm yourself with whatever weapons work for you. But sweet Jesus, do not try to do it alone.

switters said...

bright, back in 94 we had a reunion, steve took pictures of the 5 families. me being unmarried was with cracker dog, a mutt mom and dad loved. great dog. but in the background is my niece hope eating a bowl of icecream. it's one of my favorite pictures in the whole world.

Michael said...

You're strong enough to do it yourself. That you have so many people willing to help is gravy, and the result of you being a nice guy. Friends don't let friends fight alone.

switters said...

mike, moonpie says hey. thanks for being a really good friend. maybe some day i can return the favor.

Michael said...

And please give my best to...Who's a good dog? Whoooooooo's a good dog?

topazz said...

is it just me or did Must See TV fall flat tonight? The Office was awful, I turned it off when Deangelo turned Jim out of his office. Will Ferrell was a bust in that part. 30 Rock was beyond idiotic, especially the nonsense between Kenneth and Jack. In other news - I'm reading Keith Richards autobiography, and its surprisingly good - although he's one of those "glossers" glossing over all the times he left one woman for the next. Goodnight all...

Cindy said...

Love you all. Too close to home to comment on much. Just know that you're all very very loved.

Moonpie is a good good dog.

What a gift relationships are.

switters said...

it's the panic and anxiety first thing in the morning. and it's relentless.

Cindy said...

Don't I know it.

You should check out this book: Extreme Fear: The Science of your Mind in Danger. http://www.amazon.com/Extreme-Fear-Science-Your-Danger/dp/0230614396/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1304696585&sr=8-4

I'm Chapter 3.

Literally.

(nice guy wrote the book, did some serious interviewing)

bright said...

You need to have something else to do first thing, then.

[sinsking - really!]

switters said...

beastie boys on fresh air rerun. small pleasures.

rundeep said...

Well HELLLOOOOOO Sunshine. I have made the choice to help you make a choice to choose to defeat a disease. Is that confusing enough? If not, I can work on it. Momentous things in my house recently -- my almost 15 year old has a boyfriend. Oh Sweet Lord in Heaven help me. I wasn't planning on dealing with this for another 2 years. Just so you don't feel bad, every drink you decide to forego this weekend I will have for you. But just this weekend.

Truly, you know we are in for you truly madly deeply. You have a great family, but structure helps. Do whatever you need to get over this. If you are genuinely an alcoholic, you may require help, because behavioral cures are the only ones that seem to work. On the other hand, maybe you are just a problem drinker in which event behavioral cures will work. Do you sense a pattern here? Help me out kids. Love. This is a nice group of people. We should have a party.

topazz said...

switters, fire up that pickup truck and get to a meeting. You can google for where and when in your area. The price of gas is even falling now - all in your favor. Try a couple different meetings till you find a group that fits. At the very least it will give you a reason to get up in the morning and make yourself presentable. I understand there are all sorts of women at these things(often some of the finer looking ones even go with their fathers as moral support) Maybe you could bring along that homely cousin(niece?) you always talk about, who knows what could happen for her.

topazz said...

aside: I'm unable to put down the Keith Richards autobiography. He walks you through all the history, it draws you right in.

bright said...

Dang it, now I have Rhymin' and Stealin' stuck in my head. Hey! You know what you should do first thing in the morning? Watch videos! You cannot deny the kicking-of-morning's-ass awesomeness that is Sabotage.

switters said...

happy mother's day.

Sara said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rundeep said...

I was Sara. My daughter didn't sign out of my computer first. Anyway, great Mom's day, thank you very much. Had I been able to post earlier I would have told you that moms are everywhere, whether related to you or not. It's spring now, baby. Plant. We put some tomatoes in the ground today, along with fish peppers and some other things (dahlias). Daughter's club lax team won a tourney yesterday, the boyfriend is not as serious as I feared, and all is right with the world. Be well, young un. (did I ever tell you a grade school friend of mine is Wynton Kelly's daughter? No crapola. Reconnected with her recently via one of those social networking sites. She lives near me, of course.)

switters said...

wynton frickin kelly? oh man. it's like i'm 17 again. wyn kelly. also, don't take this the wrong way, but... you know? one hour at a time. i sure hope you know what a good person you are.

Cindy said...

Hugs switters, thanks!

I've had a great day, my three girls here filling the house with laughter, love and food. And filling my life. I'm so lucky.

I know you miss your mom.

And we both know moms who miss their kids.

Paradoxes are real.

You are loved.

rundeep said...

Wynton Frickin Kelly. Here's the irony: I didn't find out who it was till we had both moved to this City and she'd become a big muckety muck local news reporter (which no one ever doubted she could be -- she's smart and pretty and just a lovely person). In our craphole town, it was suggested that her mother had "gotten in trouble" by some "itinerant musician." I always imagined it was some lead singer for a Motown cover band. Only when I read an interview of her did I learn that her parents were married (but divorced) and that her father was Wyn Kelly. For whom Wynton Marsalis is named. Why we didn't treat her like a goddess, I'll never know.

bright said...

Growing Tomatoes With Strobe Lights!

switters said...

go ahead and laugh but thank god for glee.

topazz said...

I don't know, switters. First signs that a great original television show is becoming just a little too jaded: when the writers start serving up plotlines like Kramer installing an entire talk show set in his apartment on Seinfeld, or Jack Donaghy
forcing Kenneth to play his substitute wife, or a masochistic gym teacher contemplating "Marathon Man" type torture and unwrapping dental surgical tools. They've lost me on Glee, its time to graduate these guys.

Cindy said...

topazz - I have to look at it like The Simpsons. Timeless. Ageless. It's the anti-reality show. I think that's why I like them so much! Ridiculousness, well-written and well-acted. No pretense of "real" .... it has served The Simpsons well for what, 21 years? Lisa (my fave) is still in 2nd grade.

Cindy said...

Today is Jesse's birthday. Iso's Jesse.

DragonTat2 said...

My name is Susan and I am an alcoholic.

Powerless over alcohol? WTF does that mean? I can't imagine, save handcuffs, anything more powerless than being in a blackout. And when I drank I could not predict or prevent a blackout happening.

By the grace of those who welcomed me to Alcoholics Anonymous and a higher power I used to confuse with the God of religion I am 3 years 5 months and some days free of any desire to consume alcohol. I'm truly sober.
I recently came to the realization that a person need not stop drinking to do the 12 steps of AA. In fact, I quite unknowingly did just that.
Some place in the big book it says something about how little they knew and that more will be revealed. I found more revealed in a book called 12 Steps On Buddha's Path- Bill, Buddha, and We, by Laura S. Also, Kevin Griffin's two books, One Breath at a Time and A Burning Desire, helped me. But nothing replaces connecting with people who nod like those ceramic dogs on the dash an old Cadillac as another alcoholic shares what it was like, what happened, and what it is like now.
I drank every day, so it made sense that for a time it would be in my best interest to go to a meeting every day, and I was willing; I soon discovered I finally wanted sobriety. For me. Yay!

You're awesome. You deserve sobriety. You'll be amazed before you are half way thru...

Peace&Blessings, switters. Pet the 'pie for me.

rundeep said...

Finally saw Glee, and you know, I LOVED this episode. It was more consistent with the characters than some other eps this season, it told some hard truths and frankly, like my heroes Tom and Lorenzo, I love that it offers different role models of gay teenagehood. Santana, Karofsky, Blaine and Kurt have very different approaches to who they are. Kind of awesome. And actually, I thought Sue was kind of true to the original Sue here -- crazy, but just this side of genuinely vicious. She clearly intended to scare the bejesus out of Artie, but it was also clear she wasn't going to actually torture him. I thought it was awesome.

Isonomist said...

Ugh. The end of a particularly cruel week. It's a relief to see you all here.

Michael said...

PO's a funny dude, so it's no surprise he's a funny tweeter. 42 degrees and gray skies on 5/15. WTF is this, Thanksgiving weather?

Cindy said...

Well, it's been 98 degrees and hot and dry here. WTF is this? JULY? I can't wait to head north!

switters said...

mrs. doubtfire on pbs? i love that movie. my niece's bridal shower was today. 9 killed.

bright said...

I saw Mrs. Doubtfire on a date with my gay college boyfriend. Interestingly, also 9 killed.

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