Saturday, December 4, 2010

home

celebrating pre-mas with family in frankenmuth michigan where they have no shift key. got to piqua nearly 7 weeks ago. things are good, honest, difficult, meaningful. wood stove installed wednesday. jess showed up with 4 weeks of fuel this a.m. before we headed up here. i have internet for the next 10 hours only. don't take this the wrong way but miss y'all dearly. had rough august and september, was in a place devoid of hope and no longer wanted to be alive. but now, out of the abyss, i feel mom and dad's presence every moment of every day, and all i want to do is chop wood, tear out drywall, expose rough-hewn beams and salvage 100 year old lumber. no dog has ever been as happy as moonpie dog, even though it's deer season. we're home, but, more importantly, i'm keeping a sacred promise to a dying woman. through christ jesus, all things are possible. damn it. i'll check back in soon. i promise. god bless you people.

17 comments:

bright said...

First the chocolate cake, now this. (thank you, God.)

Stay warm.

Michael said...

Well sure, the demolition is always the best part. Glad to read the update. Get more internet. Peace.

Isonomist said...

Best news I've had in a while. Be warm, be online. Hope it gets easier.

Keifus said...

"like"

switters said...

i wondered to tia if i needed to return to that dark place with no hope (again) in order to claw my way back to... what ... the exquisiteness of possibility. i say, "yes." but i never ever want to go there again. and, get this, can't wait to get back to the homestead, to moonpie. the long road to peace. phase 1:penance. every day is a gift. seriously.

bright said...

you know you're going to drive right by me on your way back. one of these days...

rundeep said...

Hope is a thing with seeds. I hear you re: the difficulties. But you are never, ever alone.

DragonTat2 said...

Nice to read from you; it has been (almost) too long. Glad you made it to this side of that darkness. Again.
I lived with a wood stove as sole heat source for many years. Something warmer about heat direct from wood like that. Cooked Christmas dinner on that stove...

One day @ a time, I will be 3 years sober come Wednesday. Who would have thunk it. The dark days don't seem to get so very very black for me any more.

Peace&Blessings & thanks for the post.

nkelley said...

I just read through your entire year of blog postings. I am sitting here (at about a quarter to three in the morning) totally knocked out by the power you wield in your writing. Honestly, swits, I haven't been so moved by someone's writing since the first time I was totally swept up in a book (A Tree Grows in Brooklyn -6th grade) Your pain and sweat and tears haven't been for naught -you've come to your true calling by it, and I'm not talking about the growing tomatoes calling, although that is/was the path. I'm so moved by you and humbled and wanting to do better by my own children after reading your words. I don't think anything could make your mother prouder than the man you have become. Your best days are most definitely ahead of you, my friend.

nkelley said...

PS: (topazz, in case you didn't recognize my name up there)

Isonomist said...

Shitty night all of a sudden, then I saw your note about a wish on my blog (from a long time ago).

I'll be in Ohio on Christmas day thru mid week. If you and/or bvirago and/or anyone else felt like a cup of coffee somewhere around say Dayton, I could make it.

Cindy said...

Wonderful news to hear -- even though I'm late to the party.

I think I won't stop the prayers, even if you are up and out of the abyss.

rundeep said...

Hey Switters, whenever and wherever you are, Merry Christmas! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooc8ZiZlkqM

bright said...

This

(silence)

Nadal: "Did you watch the Davis Cup."

Federer: "Not really, no."

Nadal: "Me neither."

(more silence)

Federer: "So, uh, how's Spain."

Nadal: "Good, good."

(longer silence)

Nadal: "How are the twins?"

Federer: "They're good. They're good. Getting to that really, really cute age."

(even longer silence)

Federer: "Man, that Sampras is an idiot."

Nadal: (loudly) "I know, right!"

(give high-fives)

Keifus said...

Hey switters, if you're reading, then here's a wish for a happy Christmas. For what it's worth, I like to read about exposed barnwood, wood stoves (presumably burning something else), and happy dogs. They all sound like really good things.

You may have missed it where you're at, but Stephen Colbert loves him some Stephen Sondheim enough to gently revise... Appropriate to note? Who knows, but it made me laugh. Take care, bud.

K

bright said...

Just home from church, Merry Christmas!

Archaeopteryx said...

I'm pretty sure everyone misses you, too.