Comic Relief
"What was it he said a few years ago, his campaign slogan? 'Hope and change'?!? Now he's HOPING they'll CHANGE the subject! Oh. That's good. And funny as well, what I said there!"
(You gotta admit, he would kill at the Correspondents' Dinner. Literally. He's been voted Presidential Hopeful Most Likely To Kill Someone Accidentally.)
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Smartest Guy In The Room
"Whatever, Putin. You best quit dicking with Iran and Syria, motherfucker, or I will cut your fucking throat. You see how it works with those sand niggers? I cut their leader's fucking throat, another one pops up like Jack cocksucking Jeebs, so I cut his fucking throat. I won't fucking blow his head off with one of those ray guns; I will fucking slit his throat Dan fucking Dority-style with the Presidential Letter Opener. Not that one; the one with the picture of John Adams on the sheath. So go ahead, cocksucker. Pop your bald-ass head up out of the Persian Gulf again, and I will will fucking cut your motherfucking cocksucking throat. Oh. Enjoy your day."
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Georgia Snatch
"I want other guy, one before him, the retard, with vice president machine man Darth Vader. He was stupid and malleable. And rich. This new dark guy, scares me. I must go pretend kill shark."
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