Sunday, February 26, 2012
barbarians at the gates of the academy of motion
have you been to the movies? i haven't. but i can't resist the one time of year where hollywood people take their rightful place at the center of attention, population: them. the last movie i went to see at the theatre was either "team america: world police" or "water world 2: the spawning of lord foul's bane". but seeing as how last weekend's snl hosted by maya rudolph was 90 minutes of genius, and that billy crystal is still a little bit relevant, i think we can all assume oscar will run away with the awards, that there are no losers, except for those who didn't win, and that if mental retardation were fuel that the republican frontrunners could power the moon long enough for newt to repopulate it again, and that either one of those bigoted rice cakes would be about as effective running america as a magic 8 ball would be running a brothel. snap! which begs the question as to whether or not we need to refer to "the artist" as "a freedom" film. are we still doing that?
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147 comments:
Could Robin Roberts look any more like a man in a gown if she tried???
I was in the wrong thread, not unlike Robin Roberts
Wait, must google Robin Roberts before opening mouth... Ohh I see. It's just her chin; they don't make dresses that perform cosmetic surgery yet. Love the black dress with gold brocade.
Midnight in Paris, you would really like that one.
Not that eye makeup, Mila.
Rooney will be roasted from here to kingdom come, mark my words. The flat chested look isn't appreciated. Milla Jovovich looks spectacular
Switters can ou turn off the word verification thing? It is inhibiting the speed of my mockeries!
Oh Emma Stone, "IT'S GOT A BOW" yes, we can see that.
So topazz prefers delicate-boned women with hefty knockers
and while you're at it, enable photos, because my roommate just served epic Oscar cake. Essentially dark chocolate, raspberry layer and a shell of ganache in dark chocolate and gold leaf.
that's going to crack me up for a couple of days.
Last time I was in Paris at midnight, it was 100F and we had to walk from the Eiffel Tower to the Arc de Triomphe because there were no cabs. But I could try to keep an open mind.
Is It just me or when Tim Gunn says the words "twitter" or "tweet" why does it make me think He's also talking about his "peepee" ?
I'm gonna marry Christopher Plummer if anything ever happens to Dan.
He is talking about his peepee.
The Moms? Holy crap.
Melissa does the raccoon eyes better than Milla did.
Geez, maybe I'll go back to watching the fireman give a kitten CPR...
I'm sure everyone will hate Tina Fey, but I like it.
She does it on purpose, I swear. Plum peplum, seriously.
Mrs. Colin Firth's dress looks like what happens when I try to wrap Christmas presents with fussy paper.
Jeez Swit, expect that quote to fly all the way around the Internet and come back and whack you upside the head. It's getting more likes than anything else I've posted all week. Dang.
Thank you for saying it. I can't shoot up propofol tonight and that dress is making that sad fact much more difficult.
disable word verification? it's taken me 45 minutes to post this comment.
tim gunn is to gay what gay is to...gay. and robin roberts is almost as dumb as she is dumb.
confession: i used to watch gilmore girls.
oh, here's that kohler commercial i like so much.
I start with the best hopes and intentions and eventually it's all weird angles sticking out and too much scotch tape.
Or else Jean de Jardin. He's the swellest ever.
I think Nina is high. She keeps tripping all over her words, and long pauses. It's easy to see which ones got high in the limo on the way over
How can they compliment the third bad red dress of the night?
No one will ever top James Franco's bakedness from last year.
J Lo? WTF? When's the last time she was i a movie? (BTW, Tina Fey FTW tonight). Jean Dujardin, je t'aime.
That explains the hair. I'm going to guess it was all done up when she got in the car.
What was Santa Claus nominated for?
Oh, it looks like Zack Galifwhatever rode in the same limo as Nina.
Oh I so wish Zach Galifinakis would have answered "Who are you wearing?" with the no-brainer..."I'm wearing Wang."
I keep rewinding to his interview and rewatching him saying "and de SSsssinnamun Rolllssss"
ooh I can reply? I think she looks great. Peplum makes her waist look tiny. Very elegant, sort of Audrey Hepburn.
when do they actually start? humor me: i'm 9 month and 9 weeks sober so i feel like i'm not firing on all 7 cylinders. also, if tim says "ravishing" one more time i'm tearing off my carhart overalls asap.
Because if they don't say who their wearing and pronounce it exactly right they have to pay for the tux. I can speak real good for free stuff.
I've missed so much! BIg disagreement in my house on Penelope Cruz. I thought she looked fantastic, gown glorious. My daughter hated it, said it shortened her and the hair was "90s." Gulp.
*crossing fingers*
I liked the color, the bodice was weird?
It had a collarbone shelf. Not good.
Cameron Diaz has all the brilliance of a bag of hammers.
Ick, I don't like Cameron Diaz' voice.
I can't reply to replies here, and having a difficult time posting comments. But not going to be deterred in passing as much judgement as I can, just as my father will not be deterred in passing his gas. Thinks because the tv is so loud on account of his hearing, that I can't hear those rumbles, but I can
I love the color, her eyes, everything, but the hair doesn't work on her right side. The other side, she looks like effin Lauren Bacall at 19.
Switters: ditto on Tim Gunn, as well as if he says "old Hollywood glamour' another time
I don't think anyone can reply to replies. Just throw it up there, we'll figure it out. We're the worlds smartest Oscar livebloggers, dammit.
I was so impressed a couple years ago when she showed up at a physics lecture I was attending. It took me about six months to realize she was there because she thought The Secret's "law of attraction" would be a topic of discussion.
Gwynnie, your dress reads as a little bridal. And a ponytail, please. Glenn Close looks like a fish on her way to the office.
Get a new computer and upgrade your Internet access, we'll wait.
LOL. And I HATED her dress. One too many ideas. But the hair and makeup looked good.
Wonder if Gwynnie cleansed this week. She's looking a bit wan.
I get it when one doesn't like one's upper arms, but a satin dinner jacket is not the answer. NEVER THE ANSWER GLENN CLOSE.
Okay, George Clooney is gay, right?
This is why God invented lace sleeves and crocheted ponchos.
Clooney. I confess I liked the Descendents, but it's not really .... cinematic.
What are the odds on Plummer winning the obligatory old person, here take this thing and thanks Oscar?
Vanity Fair tweeting the hell out of this thing. Bradley Cooper sporting a Selleck mustache and doing a killer Christopher Walken impersonation backstage.
Sacha Baron Cohen dumped an urn of Kim Jung Il ashes on Seacrest.
oh, no. Friend ran into him in Switzerland once. He will only marry when the Viagra wears out and he needs care.
Sandra Bullock, did she even change out of her church clothes?
the top makes no sense from the front. no sense whatsoever.
Oh wait, maybe Kenneth Branaugh.
Does this muppet video mean Kermit is gay?
If that was her "sexy expression" I must have missed it. I hate to play fashion red carpet flamer, but I really thought Penelope Cruz's hair looked great.
It's a boat neck shell. One usually wears them under one's satin dinner jacket.
I love Ashley Judd so much I want to pop her mother and sister right in the mouth. Is that wrong?
FINALLY red done right. THANK YOU NATALIE.
wait. i thought this was the dancing with the stars cast revelation special. oops.
also, moonpie remains underwhelmed with it all.
what. no props for the dirty dancing remake? criminal.
VF tweeting that Crystal plans to go all Ricky Gervais on everyone. I hope he does.
And isn't Billy Crystal dead yet? And Natalie Portman does look beautiful.
Brian Grazer -- Don King called, he wants his hair back.
AND BROWN GROCERY BAGS
Who's the Wise Old Owl?
Cirque du Soleil, is this 2003?
Everything about that outfit sucks though. The color, the pooping fabric. Blech. Hair and makeup looked good though.
I was like, where do I go with that - Willow called and they need your help returning the baby or something Martin Short? Don King was the right move.
Honey, they have BILLY CRYSTAL. It's like 1983.
Can we keep Morgan Freeman??? Please???
You guys it's on!
Ok "That good vanilla from Mexico" they stole that from my aunt. She says that every time she makes French toast.
I'd have a far greater appreciation of this intro if I'd have seen any movies in the last 3 years.
better than it might have been. And Meryl, you look .... nice!
Buck up, Schmutzie, I haven't watched any of em either. Dont' see me pulling posts.
oh this song is not very good Billy Crystal.
Just correcting a typo. "Into" became "intro"...You mean someone's reading my posts here?
(I'm on my 0th finger dear)
I'm gonna clean my room during this part. Forgive me.
Follow the Seat Filler! Yes, that's easier than writing jokes, let's do that!
Yanni meets Edgar Winter
You were kind enough not to point out my their/they're up there. It's easier to just live with the mistakes ;)
Scorsese said he made this movie at his daughter's urging. Guess she gets to stay up late tonight?
I love her!!!! Dees ees far Maddddtin and EEEtaly....
that speech is going to be hard to top. beauteous!
My dad wants to switch back to "everybody loves Raymond"
off topic: did i mention that i installed a new pressure regulator all by myself on the well water pump and now it's working swimmingly? running water is so cool and interesting.
They DEFINITELY called each other earlier.
ray romano is sure to show up at this thing. GIVE IT TIME.
Excellent! Now, can you make the microphones stop buzzing at the Academy Awards?
Poor brightling is rooting for Harry Potter 2.
and get Billy Crystal a lozenge!
Oh wow - more filler??? Where is Michael Douglas and Zeta-Jones? I thought they were Hollywood Royalty
I'm sorry but I hated Bridesmaids. No way does that Melissa deserve an Oscar for puking. The only other movie I saw was the Help. Annoying & cliched. The Brad and clooney thing is old. (we switched to Everybody Loves Raymond" - its the one where he tapes over their wedding video)
Now that I think about it, I drained and cleaned my hot water heater, fixed the circuit breaker and now we have hot water TWICE as long every morning. I have photos if you're interested.
oh man they picked a horrid clip for Melissa.
Au contraire, that was one of the BEST. Movie and clip. She was killer in that movie.
Octavia just thanked the entire state of Alabama!
You knew the colored lady would get one for playing a maid.
She's not thinking clearly.
obvs.
Good thing she wasn't playing a union rep or a love interest.
BALABAN! YES!
Great focus-group slam. I approve.
The entire Christopher Guest troop ....have these people ever not been brilliant? Fred Willard, Catherine O'Hara, Bob Baliban, Jennifer Coolidge, Eugene Levy...what a wonderful idea. "Of course, I'd cut Dorothy."
there's a "gilmore girls" marathon on tbs, and i don't even have cable. must be the advil. i have a killer toothache. also, that standing ovation was racist!
Now, say please pass on the purple peplum ten times fast.
I don't have cable either! Hugo is a wonderful book, haven't seen the movie yet.
Are we thinking that Viola is a lock now?
ow. more pills. oh, moonpie moved slightly on her stove-close blankie right during the waiting for guffman sendup. appropriate.
now she's panting and staring at me with that "could you turn the fire down?" look. now she's walking into the shop area to cool off. now she's going outside. i really do love that dog.
most ironic moment that should've happened but won't: sacha shows up not as dictator but as bruno on the red carpet and no one recognizes either of them.
Okay Iso, I sense a duel at that hogs and heifers bar. This time I won't lose my purse. Twice.
Lord, topazz, I JUST got finished swearing I'd never go there again, for like the tenth time. But ok, for you.
Hey there's supposed to be aurora borealis sightings all the way down to Tennessee tonight!
"flowmax theater." must-see crystal movie that's hard to find: "don't get me started".
gwynn and bob jr.: salute to james and anne from last year?
How did those clowns out do Wim Wenders? Really?
We're on our second Raymond episode. This one is Amy & Robert's wedding. Seriously hilarious, folks. At least until the big awards come up
ben and emma, cute. but another confession: i don't get the whole harry potter thing. sure, twilight had some moments. but isn't potter tolkein lite? and how tall is emma? or firth? he seems like a tall brit.
also, did i miss the rose ceremony yet again?
Melissa Leo is milking it.
also, best acceptance speech for me is still tommy jones: "thanks for the work."
To this day, my favorite Raymond episode was when they all danced to Steve Miller's "Jungle Love." My God, Brad Garrett can dance!
ah, cymbalism
I'm Bret. Brit? No, Bret. Brit? No, Bret.
Penelope Part II worked much better than on the runway.
Oh Angie, please eat something. Or do some forearm workouts or something.
Bridesmaids, oh dear.
Iso!!! yOU DON'T CARE AbOUT ThE SUdAN!!!!
OK. Late dinner, cleanup, just catching up. Sweet Jesus this show is boring. Can't they eliminate every single thing the host does except introduce the next presentedr? Also, I wanted to love Bridesmaids but I didn't. Wanted to love The Descendants, but didn't. Thought I would hate "My Week With Marilyn" and loved it. I did really really really unexpectedly love The Artist.
Is she sending them her breakfast bars, tempo??
I liked Bridesmaids the same way I liked You Me & Dupree. It's cinematic Doritos. That it received any Oscar noms or presenter cred is just bizarre.
I was reading to brightling a while ago - did I miss the Tribute To Those We Have Lost?
I agree on cutting out the fluffiest fluffing. I'm starting my new job tomorrow. I don't need Oscars-ran-late eyes my first day.
Nina and Zack Galifoccia ate all her food because they have the munchies.
This is aching for a sick comeback, but I just can't do it. Mostly because of the antibiotics, not because of any moral qualms or sense of decency or taste.
That guy creeps me out no end. I've never found him funny except in rare, extremely dark moments when I probably would have laughed at a public hanging.
and there it was, ruining one of my all time favorite songs.
did ya catch patton oswalt in the last montage? also, they got best song right, finally. also, obama/stiller 2016!
yeah! to both things!
The Artist. Good Night All
That was FUN. Thanks all!
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