Thursday, April 7, 2011
predictions
npr will lose its federal funding, and thrive. planned parenthood will invade libya, exploding. lutherans will unite with methodists (and catholics?) tearing through tea partiers like it's dawn of the dead all over again. and people will actually watch two and a half men, realizing it really sucks, and is not funny. and i'll quit the booze.
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THe One Horseman of the Apocalypse. Good for you sweetie. Do the one you have control over, and we'll work together on the others.
rush limbaugh loses control of nine iron which slams into sarah palin whose head pops off like an old grapefruit revealing she's an android from the future sent here to repeal women's rights back to the stone age, pregnant. and chris rock hosts oscars again without the 6 second network delay. 1 hour at a time.
That made me laugh out loud. You are still hysterically funny.
Sweet! I'll drive!
withdrawal(sp?) has me on the retreat. early mornings are the worst of it. just a shit hell. and the today show doesn't help.
Well, I don't know if it will help you stay sober, but you can come to Lima for some barbershop this weekend. Change of scenery helps.
Next weekend, sheesh, what day is it anyway?
noel and her little sister joy have a little apartment down in athens ohio with just enough room out back for a small garden. she's growing lettuce and spinach and peas. her gramma would be tickled. they're both brilliant, and very tall. they ask me what it all means, what's the big picture. and i tell them that there is no big picture; just thousands and thousands of small ones. my mom and dad's kids are not exactly known for asking for help.
Why do you think they ask those questions of you?
Are you asking for help?
i'm not asking for help. they just want to know more about their grandparents. and jess tells me that as the youngest kid i'm "cursed" with being the "cool" uncle. i prefer "eccentric". i can do this. i know i can. it's a just a matter of setting my mind to it. also, there's that messiah complex i'm so famous for.
"Every valley...." Oh, sorry, I went into MY Messiah Complex. (Why they never have those singalongs at Eastertime, I'll never know.) I'm the cool aunt. And the uncool mom. It's all good.
Also, tell me why I watch CNN? It just irritates me no end. There was some dingdong Tea Party bimbo actually trying to justify shutting down the government unless the Democrats agree to defund Planned Parenthood in Washington, D.C. because "we have to make cuts somewhere." Seriously. And she couldn't utter anything other than that, make any rational comment, or do anything other than try to giggle like a schoolgirl (evidently, she doesn't know AC plays for a team she is not on). I wanted Ryan Howard to hit her with a bat by the end. David Gergen was reduced to holding his head in his hands because she was so deeply stupid. Dear God, what is the country coming to?
I'm not the cool aunt, I'm the aunt that buys you socks. But I'm the oldest, so give me a break willya. (You need socks!)
I chair the EFSP Board for my county. Last year by this time we had allocated around 108K to food pantries, emergency housing, and utility assistance programs and most of our programs had spent the first half of that on providing food and shelter. We're going to have some very hard and probably unpopular decisions to make. (This is where being an uncool aunt gives me an edge, because I can take it if that one agency director gets mad at me for not buying her a My Pretty Pony this year because that other agency needs socks...and that may be the worst mixed metaphor ever.) I can't watch the news, local or cable.
I pray for you often.
is it just me or is russell brand a genius(sp?)?
"...next thing you know hannity's out back of the 7-eleven blowin a guy for a sandwich,* and an ad buy. meanwhile, sex and the city 7: revenge of facebook opens on broadway in 2017..."
*uncalled for
arthur remake looks good. don't understand why pia was sent home.
i know, but this time of year, this time of day, moon and i will throw on the chuck taylors and hike the creek, which is not our property, and we'll get shot, but the smell... what is it, moss, dead trees, weeds, pig compost from down the road. just 1 picture of a thousand. could be worse.
Yesterday my oldest daughter turned 25. WTF? I'm so amazed by her (and her sisters) and I cannot believe this "child" is 25.
Since "Arthur" makes my top three favorite movies of all time I was unwilling to even acknowledge that a remake was being made. Upon your comment, and your comment alone, I shall allow this into my realm of possibility. I do not know if I can watch it - genius, you say? He did take his mother to the Oscars, so that is in his favor.
I tripled my annual donation to NPR during this pledge drive. When asked what I would like to have them say on the air I replied "We don't need their stinking money." Not sure if they said that or not.
I, too, buy socks. And I allow my adult daughters to rifle through my drawer for socks on just about every visit they make. Because, what do they NEVER bring home when they come? Socks.
We are responsible - for the mess and the clean up. We can do that. Our own, and collectively.
Good luck with sobriety. And let God help.
let me just say this: i make fun of lutherans, being one, because we got it right by combining the best aspects of catholics and jews, namely, singing and guilt. what music. what singing. liturgy will save us all from the alien robots.
now if you'll excuse me i have to get back to the violent torpedo of truth tour.
[sobbing... not really]
ps, it's that time in ohio when you need a fire which makes the house too warm by 1pm. and more rain, because my cellar/crawlspace doesn't smell bad enough.
I think Russell Brand should be your model. He got sober, stayed funny and then married a talented bombshell. What's not to like? Jeez where do the socks go? I have an actual tool for retrieving them from behind the dryer and I still have more half-pairs than anything. Partly cause the dogs love them and bury them outside. Still better than when one of my Samoyeds took my underwear up the street and left it in the neighbor's flowerbeds. Yikes.
My Mom is in a Bible study class with a lot of nice Lutheran ladies. When she got sick, they came to the hospital, wrote her cards regularly, knit her useless things and useful things and called a lot. Her RC friends? Not so much. I'm trying to get her to consider a switch, at least, but she refuses. I've returned to principled agnostic status -- I can't support the church financially or emotionally any more, even if I believe ultimately that it's theology is the most intellectually satisfying.
Good for you, man. Your writing's already finding itself back. Nice to see.
"Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all life's problems." (That was for bright.) I drink, but suspiciously. I find I need to stay away from the stuff if I'm feeling more than temporarily down.
As a remora-class defense contractor, this shutdown actually has the potential to affect my paycheck if it goes on too long. Depending on what services fall under the "essential" heading. I'm disgusted that I might be just fine.
Calling out NPR funding, planned parenthood, etc. in the name of the budget is insulting to even my minor intelligence. I wish I could be as sanguine as y'all about the news adn the politics. I wish I never started paying attention to it. (For example, I am sure Gergen is more upset about the loss of that dull, bloated decorum than any aspect of the argument.)
i have a dog; her name is moonpie. i adopted her in march of 2002. she gets me through the day and the night. i'll wake at 4 in the morning and hear her breathing, and i'll be less troubled. we went into town yesterday and i bought her some ham shank bones for a treat. she is the best dog ever.
long story short: i'm homesick. you guys make me feel less so.
should not have said that about sean (cunt), but dad would have laughed. my parents were very good people.
Things I need to see:
Moonpie in Chuck Taylors
Rundeep's sock retrieval tool
(Thanks K for not taking away my Burns award.)
Moonpie is far smarter than that gorilla Hannity (I miss the old, nasty Al Franken). No, Gergen was upset about the complete lack of understanding. It's her absolute refusal to participate in a world with meaning that got to him -- I get it. There's a book by Umberto Eco in which, ultimately, the protagonist dies rather than let a villain deprive words of meaning. We need that kind of passion for rationality.
Anyone with a computer will probably be fine. No matter what happens. As non-essential as we all are, we have a voice and a keyboard.
I worry about those who have no voice. None. The shutdown may not affect them either. Because they are so far down the food chain they are gobbled up and spit out no matter what happens.
NPR and Planned Parenthood put things out... out into the world. The "essential" government agencies that will not shut down are the major-suckers of our nation.
We suck. By midnight tonight that will be literally and figuratively true.
Okay, I'm going to go Google Russel Brand and the new movie. And then I'm going to search on Amazon for a sock-retrieval tool. And then I'm going to bemoan my consumerism some more.
Then I"m going to meditate.
moonpie prefers sketchers(sp?). eco is a poet no one reads, and a personal hero. npr is so underrated it makes me prefer myself drunk. my noah is in danger cause some dick burned a book.
oh, i will be fine; 82 sunday, like i said.
also, are you people real, or is this heaven (iowa)?
one more thing, life is... jess called me last night; he's a great man.
crap, i owe keifus a beer. dang!
"This isn't Heaven, this is Cleveland!" - Harry Allard and James Marshall, The Stupids Die.
[spelling doesn't count, again, and not aaron] npr, talk of the nation, science friday, 2nd hour, cormac mccarthy, werner herzog, some other guy, me tearing out drywall whilst yelling at field mice, riveting. not the drywall/mice thing either.
but boy that michelle bachman sure makes some good points!
When you say Bachmann makes some good points, do you mean "I don't understand why Mike wants to see her hit by a steamroller and then putty-knifed off the street and fed to badgers, because she really makes some good points." Or do you mean "Only when I'm sloppy drunk and completely retarded does Michelle Bachmann make some good points so maybe I should chill on the canarble wagon for a bit."?
Hi. It's going to be 80 here on Sunday. That's when we'll get that first whiff of turned earth. Ah, spring at last.
i guess i mean, "hey michelle, could you stick to talking about things that you actually know a thing or two about, e.g., being really stupid and ignorant and bigoted? and stupid?"
hi. 82 sunday. jess and al have a plan.
I can't listen to her for more than 4 seconds. Not only because she makes my ears bleed, but because I come face to face with the fact that there are people who voted her into office, speaking of stupidly being stupid stupids.
What kinda plan? A demolition and rebuilding good time plan?
okay. original farmhouse is currently an empty box with upstairs with no stairs. probably built around 1910. say 36 by 36. but the bathroom, such that it is, is in southwest corner. now there's the addition on the north side, say 12 by 20, with the stove, where i "live". we call it the trailer. winter's over, we made it. so, move stove to middle of trailer, and plumb the trailer, so that i can cook and do the other stuff required of plumbing, and cut it off from original house. then, here's the fun part, completely gut the original house and repurpose the most precious 100 year old lumber you've ever seen. then haul the barn wood on al's property for use as interior walls. then a spaceship lands and i fall in love while quitting smoking. you get the idea. fun to think about.
Fun to think about, fun to do. Building stairs is an art form, so good luck if that's on the agenda. I'm down to 6 or 8 smokes a day (from 40.) Hard one to kick, that's for sure.
it's a good house. and a good 2nd chance. (ok, 37th chance.)
Sounds to me like you're right on time. Somewhere I remember hearing something about "70 times 7" so you're good.
Michael - congrats on the smokes, Joe has done the same thing. Down to about 10 a day from 3 packs. Doesn't matter a whit to me if he quits from there. It is amazing, and he's doing a great thing!
I love you guys and gals. This is a nice tent for a dwelling place.
car talk. then wait wait.
war of the worlds remake on abc?
Your favorite Pride & Prejudice on E!.
The Spielberg version with the Thetan beating star is my favorite War of the Worlds. Spilled (actually, the cat) spilled a glass of wine into my laptop about 15 minutes ago. After some tissues and the judicious application of hairdryer on low speed, it still seems ok.
tom cruise is a great actor dammit! ok, actress.
Watching Naked Gun via Netflix streaming. OMG, I forgot how much I love this stupid movie.
great. now i'm in love with tina fey and faith salie.
Jesus was perturbed.
And Jesus wept.
"Take away the stone."
"Lazarus, come out."
"Untie him and let him go."
Big day today.
"... do these things in remembrance of me..." during the communion service made me sad as a kid, and i didn't know why.
and that 60 minutes is exactly 3.17 months behind this american life in relevancy cracks me up, in a good way. is it just me or is helen mirren (mirrin? sp?) a genius? got a really nice note from my aunt patsy yesterday. in the mail. remember that? mail? letters? anyways, one of dad's sisters. i know i talk about the weather a lot and that it's annoying, but april in ohio is may in iowa: warm and windy, with a chance of snow in a week.
rain man on the cw. TOM CRUISE IS A GREAT ACTOR!!!!!!!!! one of barry's better movies. very very sweet movie.
though avalon is a near perfect film. maria might agree. man i've got to stop watching tv.
I rebooted my Facebook; starting from scratch. I think I can imagine how a snake feels shedding it's skin, or a lobster it's shell. Or maybe its more like cleaning out a big, overstuffed closet.
I adore Avalon. A story about how prosperity based on new technology results in the degradation of family. Makes you wanna hang wallpaper, no?
Hey switters, you there? Wrapped up in Public Television Fundraisers? (those are the most depressing shows on earth. Nothing, but nothing, is sadder than an old doo-wop group.). Moonie answering the phones? You know I expect you to be up when I have insomnia, bastard.
PS -- I am going to make a poem using only the words your verification requests. The last one was, no kidding, "refart". Did you program this yourself?
Can't boot those things often enough, Cindy.
Switters, that might have to wait until we both feel better.
("downess" just one more condition of dignified employment I have failed to attain.)
I just got my copy of Tina Fey's "Bossypants" from Amazon (only $13.97!) I haven't even opened it yet and i'm already laughing just from what's written on the back cover! switters, I came across a couple old posts of yours from 2005 thanks to catnapping's frayback blog. They were hilariously funny, as was your scathing, rip-roaring takedown of the blue rinse brigade (remember them?) But I have to tell you, the one I would really really love to read again is "Pope John Paul II, some final thoughts" do you still have it somewhere? Could you repost it here if you do?
I miss all of you. Thank switters this part of "that place" still lives.
We have magnolia blossom! (Just the one. Next week for the rest.)
[rundeep, for your poem you can include "gloaredu"]
tina fey on fresh air, anne hathaway on ellen. might be time to start that e-zine all the kids are talking about.
April 13 - year 26 of marriage. And I was 26 when I got married. So I've been married half my life.
It's a good thing - from here.
(rundeep - how about enonate?)
switters I must insist that you STOP IGNORING ME! The Pope John Paul post????
Iso, I miss you too. Time for another get together. NYC of course, early june? Everyone here will be URGED to come, no excuses! Especially you freaks from FLorida and the Corn Belt. I know this is totally insensitive but I'll say it anyway: switters! just imagine the comedic possibilities with material like being in the center of it all, on the cusp of the tenth anniversary of 911...
the john paul post is in the same place as the riding the bus with my sister post. the cloud. bad day.
Bad days come to an end. And then it's Thursday. We are overrun with lettuce, chard and spinach. Some will just have to go to seed.
I cannot grow a tomato to save my life. Fortunately, no life depends on it. Today.
Soon you will have them all growing. Soon.
Tina Fey interviewed on "Fresh Air" today. OMG, she's wonderful. I hate her for taking my basic personality and sense of humor and ruining it with talent and ambition.
sunset, american idol starts, i see 9 deer in the west field, jump up, so pretty, where's moonpie, idiot, not her me, where's moonpie, oh, she's in the east field staring down a giant buck in the east field. she charges, he laughs and lopes off, and i laugh like a lunatic. such moments are borne not of this life. and i have no one to share it with. that's hell.
You just shared it. Dummy.
tia. YES.
topazz, YES.
BTW, I'm in for a "Friends of Tomatoes" meet.
New word, Chiffis. Jeezus.
We take off on May 24 for our summer driving trip. I'm not sure if we'll be near NY or past it by the time of the gathering, but if we're anywhere near then I'm in! Tia and Keifus - I will wave for sure, and maybe we can meet for coffee as we'll definitely be in New England.
thank you.
Any predictions as to whether or not brightling will get a part in the musical?
I think TomatoSeedLoveFestCon'11™ can only be properly celebrated here in America's Heartland™. Unless you commies want The Terrorists™ to win.
[sallus?]
paul reiser. i'm a fan. but when you hear tina fey tell a story about writing, it makes me think that this whole thing is not for nothing.
is it just me, or is michael scott(sp?) kind of a hero?
you know, you try to file your taxes. i've done so with hr block online for the last 8 years. then there's this question about whether you've bought a home in 2010. yes, i have, a shit hole. oh, you can't efile. you have to print out your return and mail it. i don't have a printer!
friday night lights and thunder storms.and moonpie.
So much barbershop!
Hey Cindy, let us know when you'll be up in the general area (Philly too, if that's on the route) okay? Hoping that your itinerary allows us to cross paths this yesr. What a great way to spend your summer - what cities do you plan to visit this time?
"here we are now, entertain us."
Up the east coast, NY/Philly a probability, Providence RI, Maine - maybe other NE states - and then into Canada.
We've never been to Montreal or Quebec. Then we head west. Not sure where all. I'd try to make a "Tomato" meet-up in NY or in the heartland.
(salpres)
captain jack sparrow. what could go wrong?
Okay. So, today was the private school middle school choral festival at The Episcopal Academy in Newton, PA. Google it. Ridiculous. So, our kids (all girls) lead off and it's really great. Nice young director figured out that world music is the key to not making every number sound like another dreary Scottish ballad cheesily arranged. ("Waka Waka!") The all-boys choirs? Not so much. 1) A VERY hard age for boys to sing consistently in tune. 2) Yo, director, you may be young, but you are an adult, lose the Bieber hair, asshole. 3) No making kids who can't sing consistently in tune try to sing Purcell, or Smokey Robinson, much less both. 4) Boys from 12-14 should never appear on the same stage with girls in that age group. They are super cute little guys, but nothing about them grows in synch -- their hands are either halfway in their sleeves, or hanging at their knees, and they look goofy and clueless. The girls, on the other hand, are goddesses for the most part. They are tall and pretty and using a little makeup and their hair is shiny and perfect and they look at the boys like the odious little creatures they (currently) are. It was all humorous and horribly sad. Oh, and we are having a Nor'easter. In April.
Oh, and the Philadelphia Orchestra filed for Chapter 11 today. Very sad, but they won't be the last. Live orchestral music is dying.
Not quite RD.
Nice article Michael! "Muti-envy" - I love it!
Reorganization is not the same as dying. There is a great love of, and demand for, live orchestral music. They'll figure it out.
Hosanna day. I recommend listening to the original cast recording of Jesus Christ, Superstar today. ("Hey JC won't you smile at me?")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsKLXFlhk7s
oh this wind. just standing outside waiting for the roof to blow off. and moonpie's sitting there like, "dad, no sweat, i got this." okay, what is it you've got planned again?
Big Windy here too.
Hey! One of my brother's sons came home today! The boys were born nine weeks early, and after seven weeks, Jack is HOME. His brother hopefully will follow in another couple of weeks.
So there's that.
Cindy, it would be lovely to see you when you're up this way.
Oh, and it snowed yesterday.
Oh Tia - how marvelous for your brother!!
I love how much weather you folks in the heartland get.
Me, we just ate a meal with loads of green from the garden ... I have mesclun, romaine and red leaf lettuce growing up to my eyeballs. Ditto chard and sugar-snap peas.
First cherry tomatoes are covering the bushes - let's hope they get red and harvested!
SNOW? Yikes!
Muti ruined Philadelphia. Or so the saying goes. The city hated him, the musicians respected him but didn't like him. Chemistry is weird. They still sound better with Sawallisch (and Dutoit) than anyone else. CSO is awesome, of course, but Carnegie Hall is one of the few places where orchestral music from all the nation's best orchestras is heard. PO still gets good reviews there too. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/04/arts/music/04james.html. I hope they get out of it unscathed. I do love me some PO. After years of subscriptions I know some of the players.
and listen to what's coming behind!
http://www.pyos.org/pages/concerts-events/multimedia.php (the really little guys) and
the immediate next generation
http://www.curtis.edu/about-curtis/listen/listen-to-curtis-audio/
PS, someone get me t
Maria - the PO has been one of Joe's favorite orchestras. He has a lot of original recordings on vinyl from the 50's and 60's. We both think Eugene Ormandy ranks up there with Leonard Bernstein, Arturo Toscanini and von Karajan.
I feel sure PO will pull out of this.
(my word is uncog -- see?)
Cindy, it'd be wrong not to. Please let me know which way you plan on coming through.
Middle school boys...it's amazing any of us ever survive that stage. Not just our deep stupidity, but pretty much every shape change and new inertia of our traitor bodies was mortally humiliating.
The last snow bank melted last weekend, when it hit mid-70s.
jess called to warn me. a lot of my savings was at nexity.
1) FDIC insurance and 2) bought by another bank. Not so bad. You should lose exactly nothing.
hey rundeep, have i thanked you lately?
NO damn it. Get with it.
^like.
regulation hottie retard smackdown. you might get a kick out of the fact that stupid moonpie has become protective of me.
then an episode of glee and turns out the rain will stop at some point.
It's not just you. In fact, I hadn't quite read the perfect description and yet, here you are with just the exact right moniker for Mr. Trump.
Thank you. And, yes, the rain will stop at some point.
Give Moonpie a hug from Florida.
hey cindy, thank you. moonpie is soaked and passed out next to the stove. oh wait that's me. sometimes it's tuff(sp?). but really, thank you.
i just beat up keifus in a bar fight.
So, I have a question for you, switters.
When Spring finally comes for good, and it moves into Summer - will you pitch a tent in the yard while you work on your house?
You know, this move of yours (except for the really bitter cold and burning the furniture for firewood) sounds like a great adventure.
No wonder Moonpie is so happy. Hope you have a great Wednesday.
Tomorrow begins Triduum.
i'll probably move out to the shop. it almost doesn't leak and the foundation is "flexible".
also, it will give the field mice a chance to clean out the pantry, such that it is. most of the time this time of year it sucks. but let me assure you there are times of bliss. it's just that lately they're few and far between. it'll get better. i have the dog.
Honey, I guess Moonpie won't cotton to cats? You could use a barn cat. Or two. I'm now finding mummified remains of field mice and moles all over the yard. I guess the cat was busier than I knew in those dark hours of winter.
I'm looking forward to Spring. Real spring -- when Donald Trump decides to marry a new model.
tonight's episode of the office: wow. rundeep, you are truly a blessing. any cat that's wandered on to the property has ended up in a tree, thanks to moondog.
the office, wow. and i hated rent.
then 30 rock's 100th. damn i wish i could write like that. damn. best shows no one watches.
I'm sorry to have to admit that I wait for them to come out on DVD.
The commercials, and the waiting.
Here's a good way to spend the afternoon today:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pf4UNJqv_-A
cindy, i saw community its first night and have seen every episode since, sometimes twice. best show in 10 years.
Tina Fey. Wow. I've seen Community once or twice, but I keep forgetting it's on. Good Friday sounds like your kind of holiday, s. Just remember that it all gets better afterwards. Much better.
chris rock.
Baldwin's rooftop, gas-induced speech about how to trash your movie star image was perfection. Thank God it's on Hulu because I always seem to miss it. Note to self, stop missing 30 Rock.
mike, easter weekend and i have a fire in the stove?
I love Community. I want to bring them all home with me. For real.
rundeep - I agree with switters, you are a blessing indeed.
I think a fire in the stove for Easter weekend sounds kind of nice. Makes me think of Peter, standing around, trying to keep warm, denying the beejeezus out of Jesus.
S- Inch of snow on my car on Sunday. I've had more than enough of this stuff....
i don't know how mr. hill is gonna get his corn in; his fields are lakes.
Watched 100th show today. OMG I adore it. "What is a Pyompi anyway" "it's when 2 fat people...."
the 10 commandments is a really terrible movie. it's also really funny. sometimes i'd have something funny to say. today i got nothing.
Good morning! He is risen!
he is risen indeed.
Alleluia!! He is risen and we all woke up today! How cool is that?
I watched it too. It keeps getting funnier. Edward G Robinson as Dathan was inspired casting. "Shay Moses, what's the big idea trashing our party? We built a golden calf God, now beat it."
Father Devlin this morning called Easter the ultimate "do-over" for Christians. Amen to that.
10 Commandments -- the movie that gave birth to that comment that directing Charlton Heston was like trying to animate a lumberyard.
We finished Easter off by watching the last three episodes of Season 1 of Community. Hilarious!
trump/sheen 2012!
Hahahaha! Please!! Pretty please!!
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