previews

Jerry Potter And The Deadly Jellos Part IXV: The Redemption Of Pliny The Elder Part I.IV, Love In The The Ruins Of Trinity Rising -- A Movie Review
-er, there's another one?! what, does the fonz water ski jump over a tank of sharks while setting a car on fire, exploding? seriously? WRAP IT UP!!!

28 Days Or So Later: An Essay Based On A True Story Based On Actual True Events That May Or May Not Have Actually Happened... At Some Point
"... you know, one of those hospital robe shirts that only comes to just below the navel..."

Letter To TOTGA: Has She Really GA?

Bridesmaids Revisited: Rise Of The Vomit -- A Movie Review

How Fox News Radio Is Not-So-Slowly Turning My Brain Into Gramma's Apple Sauce. Again

Essay: Why We Need More Yelling On NPR

Why My Worst Day Sober Is So Much Better Than My Best Day Drunk

The World Would Be A Gentler Place Were All The Roads Paved With Dirt Or Gravel

Blogging My Ohio Driver's License Written Testimonial
"... never under any circumstances use your turn signal; it will only confuse your fellow automotive operators as such..."

and so much more, god willing.

funny

you're sitting there in your gutted farmhouse, wasted at 10:15 in the morning watching hoda and kathy lee. in fact, you've been wasted for the last 4 months. and your 2 brothers and a sister-in-law show up and ask you politely to get in the trunck. you beg your oldest brother please don't make me do this, please, i beg you, please don't make me do this. al, your other brother, says, hey, i'm missing my golf game. get in the truck. your sis-in-law says you need to do this. please, no, please. i can't. just leave me alone, i'll be fine. get in the truck. come on, let's get in the truck. you put your shoes on and get in the truck. you get to the hospital and your brothers have to prop you up because you can't walk on your own. you're admitted. they hook you up to an i.v. because you're dehydrated. you're shaking and the nurse has trouble hitting her mark, but she does, with a smile. the admitting doctor comes in and says they're going to make you better. your brothers and sis say that they're very proud of you. you're shaking, you can't breath right. they take you to your new room for the week, a nurse comes in and puts something in the i.v. it's anti-anxiety medecine. it works almost immediately. you relax. al makes jokes and you laugh as does jess and lisa. they don't leave your side for 5 hours. you get sleepy. they give you more meds and take your blood pressure and check your blood every 3 hours. all the nurses know why you're there, but there's no funny looks, no pity, no... judging; just sympathy and a sincere desire to make you better. your family finally leaves and you fall asleep only to be awakened every 3 hours for vitals. you're humiliated, ashamed, glad your mom and dad are gone so they don't have to see you like this.

then you wake up and hope you've hit bottom.

just back from rehab/detox.

fun week. currently staying with al and lisa on their small cattle farm in mount gilead. moonpie is here. will be here indefinitely. i'm on anti-anxiety anti-depressants. very weak.

i have a great family but would appreciate some good vibes.

your friend.

well crud.

thought i could do this on my own. don't think i can. jess and jane came by today and mowed. and mr. hill got his corn planted. hot, but a great breeze.

sarah, sarah, a storm is brewing in your eyes

please run. please please please run. the debates alone would be worth their weight in salmon. also, during your "take back america bus tour" (or whatever), can't wait to see you ring the liberty bell in boston. the chinese revere retards. you would be worshipped there. also, they're more in line with your notions of civil rights. and dumbassness.

drives a man to drink.

glee season finale

in new york? could be good. also, is it just me, or is newt kind of a giant douche head shit bag? just me. again. may 17 and i have a fire in the stove. seriously. oh, and well said miss palin. sure your bastard grandkid won't need therapy of any kind, and that gosh you're stupid. must be nice not to be aware of it. common speaks english. still not sure what you speak.

addiction

"alcoholism is not a disease; it's a choice." that's what dad would say. i miss that man. moving forward is hard enough when demons are holding you by the... heels. may 5, 34 degrees? really?